how
come
how come
how come i don’t reach out
until the last minute?
[i mean, i know why — it’s because i’m so scared of putting forth the full effort
just to be ignored or forgotten, as i have in the past, but this way if i can’t be seen
it’s all circumstantial and that doesn’t mean people love me any less…]
[sometimes i wish i knew less about myself]
the apprehension
to
the joy
to
the hangover
[friendship, in an introvert bottle]
social events
breed
social anxiety
(and somehow there are people
who need this?!?!)
i don’t understand
how to be a person
interacting with other people.
i kind of understand
how to be a person
interacting with one other person,
and i kind of understand
how to be a me
interacting with only myself;
but multiple others???
i either am too loud
or too quiet
or too uncomfortable to do anything else—
so…what does that mean?
does that make me less of a person?
or more?
does it make me an introvert?
does it make me socially anxious?
or simply anxious all the time?
is my perception of myself based on how little others can perceive me?
or is it something else entirely?
or are these all questions
that only i can answer
for myself/
accurately
?
i seem to be falling in love with this city
its bright lights of harsh daylight
and soft hues of glaring night
i am still an introvert in the world of countless people
but most of them seem to view ‘people’ the same way i do
so we mutually ignore each other
and yet
if protests and marches and keeping up with the roots of the grass
has taught me anything
it’s that we also have an eye out for each other;
we keep us safe
in these streets, our streets
and my love for this city
never would have reached these levels
had it not been for the community i’ve watched
grow.
kipventures 