January 31, 2025

everything feels like sci fi these days

whether it’s the prevalence of ai
in our lives
[uninvited]
every day

or the threats of new pandemics
bearing down
on all of us

or the literal implosion
of our country/
explosion of our government
into full blown fascism
[from a simmering pot
of fascism called many other things
that it was
for many
many years]

and i’m just one little enby
trying to figure out how to be the
best person i can be:
helping others,
keeping a kind heart,
standing up to injustices,
learning about my internalized biases,
all while having a constant background soundtrack
of appropriate ambient sounds —
the songs and vibes of our times —
tuned to the bones
beside/inside
my ears

it really does feel
like sci fi
around here

August 4, 2021

it’s the dichotomy
between
my very private personality
and my desire/impulse to overshare at every opportunity

it’s the balance to find
between
loving the little luxuries in life
and not feeling fully fulfilled
unless i’m working insanely hard

it’s the desire to be the raw, young talent
switching between
wanting to be respected, knowledgable, wise

it’s the old soul behind a young face,
it’s the bubbling energy inside an aging body

it’s the creativity battling the perfectionism
it’s the wanting to do good, placed against knowledge of how bad it really is

it’s loving humanity
and being so scared of people
all at the same time

it’s the dichotomy

and it’s forever battling inside me

(i have always identified with Aang,
but maybe i’m more like Zuko,
trying to prove myself,
working against insurmountable odds,
until another option shines through
and i realize i didn’t need to work that hard to begin with)

(that analogy didn’t lead where i initially thought it would…)