February 1, 2026

it blows into february
the air of awful anticipation on its wing
the cold burning even colder
than january’s sting
at least there’s snow
from the first month’s storm
whitening the ground
providing [minimal] distraction
from second month’s
curse

January 31, 2026

two panic attacks
[or something like them]
in one month
after years of fair avoidance

i cannot tell if something is
going on
inside me

or if it simply the strain
of the external forces
of the world i cannot control
[but still affects us all]

or maybe
maybe
it’s the strain of january
of winter
when i can never see the light of spring
at the end of the proverbial
tunnel

just give me one crocus blossom
one sprig of green
not these mountains of slush-snow
and lows below zero overnight
i need something
something
something to keep me going

this has been the longest january i’ve seen
since wisconsin

December 7, 2025

december is really hitting me like
a ton of bricks
being transformed quickly into feathers
[i still have some bruises, and some pokes,
but all in all it’s the suffocating stuffing that’s
hitting me rather than the pounding of existential pressure, so
at least that’s…
different]

March 2, 2025

March has come in
like the lion it is —
bringing one day of relief,
and then an evening of terror,
followed by a morning
where, once again, it hurts to open my eyes
outside

let’s hope it does
go out like
a lamb

January 23, 2025

it has been wisconsin cold outside
not just “cold like wisconsin”
but “cold even for wisconsin”
and i do not
like it

[at least the respite
is in view, even if it’s not the ending to winter
just yet]

January 8, 2025

Cold

like Wisconsin was all winter

Cold

the opposite of what’s happening in LA, apparently, with their literal
red
hot
fires

Cold

the temperature outside is below freezing
and the “feels like” temperature is in the
single digits

Cold

but we have a house
and food
and warm warm booties

Cold

but this is only one day
in one week
in one month of one winter

and the days are already getting longer

Cold

and tomorrow may be
Cold
as well, but we’ll survive the

Cold

we will

we will.

December 23, 2024

we can do it
we can get through
the darkest/coldest months
because already
the sun is rising a little earlier
and setting a little later

we’ve made it through the darkening
and now we just need to have the temperature
catch up

December 2, 2024

it is only the second day
of the last month of the year
and not even winter
quite yet
and yet
the air has already started to taste stale
and my drive for surviving
ebbing away every minute
and i can’t see how
i’ll get through
next year

[was my premonition
as an angsty teen
just delayed by a couple of decades?]