August 8, 2026

leave it to a thunderstorm
rumbling in my bones
as my eyes watch the trees
sway and toss and turn in the intense breeze
to actually get my brain and body and heart to acknowledge
a love for being alive
on this Earth

it feels too emotional
too sincere
to share in any way but poetry
but even the words of poetry feel too simple
for the intensity of the feeling
or too flowery to really embody
the groundedness of the feeling
[though flowers are grounded too, in their growing, are they not?]

how can i explain the feeling of ‘home’
that is this living within all Earth has to offer?
i love her i love her i love her
and maybe that’s the heightened emotions talking
and maybe that’s my experience with many personifications happening
and maybe there’s a distance and a pushing that comes from
writing this hours and hours and after the experience
but my heart feels to bursting with love of this planet
and yet, i know my heart will not explode,
for everything has worked itself out over billions of years
for hearts to not literally engorge with emotion,
but the feelings align with physical signs
my heart seems to fill, to push up at my throat
as that signals to my eyes to fill with tears
just as they did last night
during the thunder and lighting and rain and realization
that i actually
at that moment
and this
love being
alive

and i have the Earth to thank

July 30, 2026

i still have a tendency to downplay things i’m excited about
to not get fully
actually
excited about them
because what if something happens
and i’m no longer able to do the thing
i was so damn
excited about?

the roller coaster of emotions
from so stoked
to so damn devastated
is one i’ve experienced
more times than i’d care to have experienced

it is an emotional roller coaster
that i do not
want to ride
ever again

but
isn’t part of living
experiencing emotions?
the good and bad and devastating
the excitement and disappointment
and even boredom
are all part of the human experience

and isn’t that all i’ve ever longed for:

an experience and an understanding
of being
human?

January 17, 2026

distract yourself with crimson glaze
with pink chiffon
with aesthetics and
art

[is art a distraction?
or is it a human need?]

[or is distraction itself
sometimes
a need?]

[i don’t know
i don’t know
i try to speak for
the entirety of the human race
but so few of them make any sense
to my own senses
that i’m simply trying to
live life
i’m simply trying to
continue to
want to live life
keep life
going
i’m simply trying to
try
sometimes
not even all the time
just
sometimes
sometimes sometimes
sometimes be my own human self
sometimes try to speak for
those in the human race that today’s humanity
seems to leave behind
sometimes try to
connect with others
in a way that
raises both parties up
from one level of existence
to another
greater
kinder
more enlightened
not to be better than others
but to carry everyone
with us — if i share enlightenment with three people
and each of them share with
three more
how long until we have all of humanity
together
and looking out for
each other?]

this rambling poem
is to say
as much as i feel like i
will never understand the
rest of the human race, i keep making art
for them for them for them
for the connection to get to know them
and have them know me

i can’t help it

that’s part of living as/with
humanity

July 28, 2025

sharing
is caring

but sometimes sharing doesn’t come
up right away, and needs years of
establishing trust and instincts and
rapport and a shared understanding of the world

sometimes sharing
needs to come after miles and miles of other
sharing

sometimes sharing doesn’t happen until
you’ve been married nearly
ten years

September 16, 2024

i know the steps i’d take
and the things i’d say
to be mean

but i never say or do them
they remain inside my mouth/my throat/buried deep inside my mind

and though those actions i’ve never taken
and i know i never will,
how come having those thoughts alone makes me feel like
the worst person who has ever lived?

[i know i know the point is
we cannot control our immediate reactions/thoughts/feelings,
but what we can control —
and what shows the merit of a person —
is how we act on them, but i guess i just want to be so good of a human
that i never have human feelings
ever]

May 25, 2024

sometimes i hide inside myself
feeling like my feelings are infiltrators
unwelcome guests that i can block
out
like as long as i don’t think about a thing
there’s no possible way it can affect me
and the effects won’t come effecting
until i open my door and let them in
invite them to come, when i’m more levelheaded
and can see emotions from a more logical standpoint

but i should know better
about all of
that.

June 17, 2022

this is just a human emotion
no need to block it
no need to grasp it

breathe through it,
let it flow through you;
if there are tears,
that’s fine.
if there aren’t,
also fine.

the flowing
breathing
through
is not to rid it from your system,
nor to memorize it for future use,
it is simply to feel it
as it is
in you.

because,
contrary to your own protestations,
you are, indeed, human,
and humans have
human
emotions.

so breathe.