May 21, 2026

the pull to listen to
my high-school-age sound-track
is so damn strong

helping to direct a play
set in 2003
in two boys’ high school careers
and high school emotions
and high school coming-outs
[comings-out?]

it reminds me so highly
of my own story in
2006

the first love
[though mine did not last]
[thank goodness]
the self-hatred and
fear of the world
as you find your own footing
in your own community
[though my church was not a christian one]
even as that shifts to a different community
perhaps a community
of two

“we’re keeping it alive”
“what?”
“each other”

is one of the truest moments
i’ve ever heard on the page

and i hope it still rings so true
to a public audience
on the stage

December 4, 2020

people say that scent
is the strongest sense-memory

but…

…damn

that first chord plays in my ears
from the first song on the Spring Awakening soundtrack
and i’m suddenly 17
trying to find a burger king nearby
(without a smartphone)
so my friends and i can gobble up
fast food veggie burgers
before/while driving
to what we nick-named
“nuclear reactor beach”

or

the first three blasts on the trumpet
on the Star Trek Voyager theme song
and i can feel the early autumn 4 o’clock sun on my face
from our west-facing windows
nestling in for some post-school entertainment
at ages 5, 6, 7, 8…

or

the entire album of Todd Rundgren’s
A Wizard, a True Star
makes me want to clean the whole house
on a Saturday morning

or

any Death Cab for Cutie
song
and i’m driving
late night
to and from Oberlin
keeping up a high school romance
vaguely long distance
independent
thinly masked sadness
and yet infinite possibilities