September 21, 2026

as much as i joke
that i hate people

i really do
do a lot of things
to help out
people

and care
so hard
about people

and my life’s purpose seems to be
helping people
healing people
slowly
one by one
conversation by conversation
just making people feel
listened-to
and heard

i hate when other people don’t do what i do
don’t really truly listen

but then, if they all did
i’d have no purpose in this world
would i?

~~~

[but there are too many people
in this world
to heal

and too much to heal
in one conversation

why can’t people just
be
kind?]

~~~

the older i get
the less i look for
fame
and my name
in lights
and other goals i had myself convinced
i needed to make my time
here on this planet
count

those were always a means to an end

the end being healing

the end being feeling listened to

and i can do that better one on one
than with a large fan-base
anyway

so kindness is what i look for
and what i hope to leave
on this planet

i really do intend to leave it
better than i found it

and if that means taking each person i meet
and making them feel
important to me

then that’s good because
they are.

June 15, 2025

i scroll
and scroll
and scroll and scroll and scroll
and avoid looking at messages
because my soul aches with each plea
and i haven’t figured out yet
how to do
anything
really

February 24, 2025

quick morning pages this morning
perhaps even without posting
until the evening
because we got shit to do
this early morn’

[though i’d love to just be
sewing — apparently that’s my vibe
when the world gets to be
too big and too frightening

just do the physical
helpful labor
you know how to do]

January 31, 2025

everything feels like sci fi these days

whether it’s the prevalence of ai
in our lives
[uninvited]
every day

or the threats of new pandemics
bearing down
on all of us

or the literal implosion
of our country/
explosion of our government
into full blown fascism
[from a simmering pot
of fascism called many other things
that it was
for many
many years]

and i’m just one little enby
trying to figure out how to be the
best person i can be:
helping others,
keeping a kind heart,
standing up to injustices,
learning about my internalized biases,
all while having a constant background soundtrack
of appropriate ambient sounds —
the songs and vibes of our times —
tuned to the bones
beside/inside
my ears

it really does feel
like sci fi
around here