hair

August 25, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i slept last night in a room
so cold
the a/c unit [set to 70] turned itself
off
it got cold enough that it
felt it had done its job
[and i know, i know,
i have friends who are overheated
until the thermostat reads lower than 68
but let me tell you, anything below 74 and i am
straight up shivering]
and so i slept with a little hat on
my go-to hat for wintertimes
when my head and ears need covering
but i didn’t want to cover up the beautiful rainbow
that my hair was
[but is not anymore]
and that rainbow hat
tamed my wild full head of cowlick down
to sit flat against my forehead
and ears
and neck
and not look completely foolish
and i don’t know how i feel about this particular look
[just as i don’t know how to feel about
this particular haircut]
but hey
i’m trying things
and i’m letting the situation lead me;
so if today is a flat head of hair day
because circumstances were such that
i actually needed to sleep in a hat last night
[and i always suspected hat-sleeping would lead to
this hair-flattening]
then today
is a flat head of hair day

we’re just going with the flow
in general
but in particular with hair

[philosophizing
but really, it’s the practical matters
that sometimes need the poetizing]

July 7, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i had been wondering
for a long time
whether or not i should actually
have the rainbow

if it was too juvenile
if it was too gay
in a country where gayness is coming back to meaning
bad
if i would be a target
if it was actually sparking joy in me
anymore

and so i shaved my head

and i think i now know
that i do want the rainbow

but that doesn’t mean i regret this

nor does it mean i won’t enjoy the finely buzzed hairs
tickling my hands every time i run them all over
my entire head

nor does it mean i won’t enjoy
the shock and awe of every person
i didn’t warn

i wanted to know if i would look good bald
[or as close as i could get without
shaving cream and a true razor]

and i think i do

but i think i don’t look like me

so we’ll let it grow out a bit
and shape the flop on top in a way
that hopefully i won’t be accidentally cutting into it
every month’s buzzing day

and then after a few month’s time
it should be long enough
to have a rainbow again

and by that time, i think i’ll probably have forgotten
exactly how much stress it is
to re-dye and keep bright and re-dye and keep bright and
i might just survive another nine years [give or take] with
a rainbow flop of hair atop my head

but for now

baldy/aang/baby buzz it is

[if only my spouse could still recognize me!]

February 16, 2025

/ HJ / 1 Comment

my hair
is rainbow

it has been, on and off, since late 2016
and when it grows out, folks still compliment the colors
for being vibrant
and even
but i know what it’s like to have a
fresh dye moment
and that moment is today
and i feel
so much more like
me