i have a little notebook
where i diligently write down
everything i’ve done
daily
so as to not feel like a complete tool
and imposter
and fool
for ‘not doing anything
productive
every day’

it helps with some things—-
i can track when i tend to
get stuck on my phone
doom scrolling
and doom scrolling
and doom scrolling
ad nauseam,
and i can track what days
i seem to feel more pumped
to do things
that i should be
doing,
or the perfect storm
of creative inspiration
and bodily motivation—-
and if there’s a discrepancy
between kip’s and my memory
i can usually pull it up to see
which of us is remembering falsely

but
i’ve found
it’s hard to put aside the time
to write in the notebook
with each passing event/
activity/
noticing,
and i have to gather a formal moment in my day
(or two)
to catch up in my
little notebook of everything
and therefore
(since it takes so long)
i end up writing in a passage
a moment
a marker
of when i took time out of my day
to write down all the things i did that day
and that feels a little…silly to me

thoughts?