August 5, 2026

i am such a big fan
of the irish goodbye

maybe because i was raised on the midwest goodbye
of saying you’re leaving
and three hours later still chatting in the kitchen
and i feel weird being the center of attention for a departure
knowing the party [or event] will go on without me

i’d rather leave with an air of mystery

have people continue to talk about me

i am more present in the room in an irish goodbye
than if i were to stay and stay and stay

[and, goodbyes are hard for me anyway — saving up all emotions
for one moment at the end of an event?
i’d rather just tell people how much i love them at any given time
randomly
throughout,
show my appreciation when appreciation appears/
never leave things unsaid until the end

because you never know when people just need to
disappear]

June 18, 2021 (part 2)

who really is
good
at goodbyes?

~~~

when i visit new places
i associate certain parts of them
with places i’ve been before

“this area reminds me of the east side of Madison”
“this one gives me big Toronto energy”
“well, this is like if Milwaukee and Cleveland had a baby…”

on and on,
until i see something truly unique,
or i’ve been there long enough
to associate it with itself.

~~~

stomach aches
is it packing stress?
is it travel anxiety?
is it getting back into the “real” world?

or is it the apprehension of expectation for more adventure
now that we’re both vaccinated and activated?