gay

May 21, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the pull to listen to
my high-school-age sound-track
is so damn strong

helping to direct a play
set in 2003
in two boys’ high school careers
and high school emotions
and high school coming-outs
[comings-out?]

it reminds me so highly
of my own story in
2006

the first love
[though mine did not last]
[thank goodness]
the self-hatred and
fear of the world
as you find your own footing
in your own community
[though my church was not a christian one]
even as that shifts to a different community
perhaps a community
of two

“we’re keeping it alive”
“what?”
“each other”

is one of the truest moments
i’ve ever heard on the page

and i hope it still rings so true
to a public audience
on the stage

March 28, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i say gay
in relation to everything
not in the way i grew up with it
as a synonym for “stupid” for “gross” for “bad”
but as a loving reaction
meaning
“awww!”
meaning
“love”
meaning
“i’m part of this in group and i adore it so much”
meaning
“odd and weird, and i am so proud of being odd and weird myself”
meaning
“yep, that’s true”
meaning
“well, now it’s almost mundane,
but that’s better than it ever was
in early 2000’s high school name-calling”
meaning
“i’ve embraced it so much, we’ve come out the other side
and once again, we’re calling everything
gay
but with rainbows and goodness and love this time!”

January 24, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the swell of the smell of
baking bread
with the spices still entwined
in the ridges and lines
of my hands

[the morning between
an economic blackout day
and a snow day]
[we can be a cozy, homey couple
when we want to be]

October 17, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

damn
this performance just
snuck
right
up

i suppose it makes sense
what with
everything
else
going
on

but

i get to perform

i get to back-up dance

i get to watch my friends perform

and i get to co-host

[which is technically not an entirely new thing
for me, but the last time it happened was like
over ten years ago now, and i have almost no
memory of it, so it feels brand spanking new]

if you are near purchase, new york, why not stop on by
[tickets are free!]

https://www.ticketleap.events/tickets/queeryus/out-and-proud-a-ndod-celebration

October 11, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

National
Coming
Out Day

a thing i did
so long long
long ago, and
still do to this
day

because, to be
in a heteronormative
cis-hierarchical society
means, if you don’t
conform fully, you
must explain yourself
constantly
constantly
constantly

June 13, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

friday the thirteenth
fridays the thirteenth
friday the thirteenths
fridays the thirteenths

any way you say it
we’re married because of it

[and i’m so happy with it,
even after all these years]

June 1, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

first day in june
and i wake up
so cold

make some hot coffee
turn up that heat
things pride month
is usually
without

what kind of vibe does this bode
for the rest of the
season?

[or is this getting the
awkward/bad/less gay stuff
out of the way
so the rest of june will be
great…?!]

December 20, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

ten years ago
i
was bored at my home

ten years ago
i
felt community thirty minutes away
(at a college i never attended)

ten years ago
i
called out to my friends to see
if anyone would be
excited for me
to come hang out that evening

ten years ago
i
happened to [re-]meet the love of my life
and this time we were both ready
available
and actually looking
pondering each other for
conquest
and connection

but

it is not this day that we count
as our official anniversary

ten years ago today
was a preamble
a flirtation
a stuttering step towards
a beginning

tomorrow
will be the actual anniversary:
that post-midnight
that coming together
that “end of the world”
that, even if it did actually end,
and this is all a simulation in someone else’s head,
at least we got a chance to meet and be together
ten years ago
the best thing that ever happened to me
was
you

and for the past ten years
that has continued
to be
true

April 2, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

connection
in this day and age
of high speed internet
and loudfast cars down the street
and split second decisions
is so rare

but somehow we found each other
and talking with you makes time stop
and we push each other to create a legacy
while still reminding each other to sit in the garden
for as long as the dog will allow us
and our skin on skin contact
is my favorite feeling
in the universe

so let’s continue this
for another five/ten years
because i was just treading water
before you came into my life