the overwhelming ache
of knowing strangers’
wants
and needs
and their own aches
and feeling hopeless
and helpless
even while knowing
individuals cannot save everyone —
it is companies and economies
and governmental systems
that keep those in want
wanting,
and keep those in the place of
being able to give
here
and there
stuck
in overwhelm…
fuck capitalism.
where is our revolution
of kindness?
i wish i wish i wish
i could make consumerism
and capitalism
truly passé
just from saying so
in a poem only i will probably see
perhaps it is so
for me
and i can spread it outwards
from my words and experiences
into my daily life and conversations
and someday
i’ll have helped
make it so
half-formed poems
catastrophizing stuck in my head
until i think i’ll burst if i don’t
say
something
and then it’s there stuck in my throat
when i remember
actual
catastrophes
all while i’m too tired to sleep
and too sad to cry
and everything feels like a clock ticking down
down
down
but to what
inevitable
terror?
[or is this simply life in late-stage capitalism/climate crisis disaster?]
a sudden sad
is it the rain?
is it my own mistake
in ordering our breakfast day?
is it my hormones
being completely out of balance?
is it my mood disorder
and some sort of need to meditate?
or is it living under late-stage capitalism,
watching systems that care more for profit
than for people,
and observing tragedies,
wars,
and genocides
half a planet away
that i almost almost almost almost feel
i have some power to stop,
when in reality
i absolutely
do not?
guess it’s probably the rain…
question all the answers given,
and answer everything that’s asked of you
by a child —
even if your answer is
“i don’t know”
that’s better than lying
or saying “just ‘cuz it’s so”
we need more critical thinkers;
we need more people to grow and go up against
the powers that be
because the powers that be
are just being
rich
and i don’t believe that benefits
anyone
but themselves.
[and we’ve needed something new
for a long long while now]
capitalism
ruining even the most productive
of mornings
~~~
frustrated
distracted
hungry
but not yet ready
what a morning
~~~
banal tasks
take
less mental energy
but
when a sudden need
for that focus arrives
it’s quite jarring
success
isn’t always fleeting
sometimes it’s delayed
or avoided
or even unknown
sometimes
success
means something different
from the outside than from the in
sometimes
success
shouldn’t be measured
anyway
because accomplishment
and competition
stem from that same capitalism
that’s ruining
everything
i felt so motivated yesterday
(and the day before that)
and i know i did some of the things
on the to-do list,
but i did much less than
i originally
expected
and i need to be ok with that
i need to be ok with that
i need to remind myself that
i need to be ok with that
because otherwise
i’m just capitalism’s
newest victim
and fuck capitalism
~~~
fly
spy
in the sky
i wonder why
you need to fly
around our home and spy
on us
~~~
this
cotton
candy
coffee
is the silliest thing i’ve ever tasted
and it just makes me
smile
smile
smile
~~~
how do i absorb
the lessons i’ve learned
in trying to help others?
i.e. the advice i’ve given,
can i/will i ever
take it myself?
is there ever
a magical wand for
turning kindness inward?
~~~
the poems today
aren’t turning out great,
but they’re not bad, either,
they’re just there
and that’s all they need to be
at this moment
in
time
~~~
do you ever feel
so tired
and yet so hyped up
that you feel like
if you followed your energy
you’d vibrate until
your skin just kind of
shucked itself off of your bones?
…nah, me neither
kipventures 