friendship

December 13, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the problem with having dreams
about places and people you haven’t seen
in some time, is that they all tend to
mesh
and merge
together, becoming one big amalgamation of
The Past™
or This Point In My Life™
or Anyone And Anything I Haven’t Thought Of In A While™

and though i appreciate
that my brain is constantly churning
even at night
and never lets anything
go,
i do wish the memories were
clearer,
so i could actually contact
whoever my subconscious
is missing
at any given point
and actually reach out to them
and say
hello

November 6, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

how
come
how come
how come i don’t reach out
until the last minute?

[i mean, i know why — it’s because i’m so scared of putting forth the full effort
just to be ignored or forgotten, as i have in the past, but this way if i can’t be seen
it’s all circumstantial and that doesn’t mean people love me any less…]

[sometimes i wish i knew less about myself]

July 17, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

wholesome giggles

planning secrets
for the sharing

buying surprise presents
in front of the recipient
without them even
knowing

why does the word “sly”
have so much of a bad vibe

can’t the connotation be
best friends
planning
for a joyful reveal?

March 23, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

make up for something you’ve done,
a sin or just
a blunder,

and see how long it takes
for you to forgive yourself
vs
how long it takes
for others
to even realize
you’ve done
wrong.

i’m unsure the point i’m trying to make with this poem,
but i think it has something to do with
our own perceptions of our own
moralities —
and while i’d rather my friends live
guilt-free lives,
i’d also rather have as friends
those who make sure to
do right by those they’ve wronged
well past when we’ve forgotten,
than those who think their morality
is beyond
reproach

February 8, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

click your heels together
and say
“there’s no place
like home
there’s no place
like home”

but if home isn’t a place
it’s a feeling
it’s a space for you to
know your own true you

aren’t the heels simply clicking
on the road
to your friends
your clique
your crew
your coconspirators
and comrades
and found family?

is that the truth?

October 26, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

a dream
of mine
is to coax a cat inside —
any one of our outdoor cats
whom i feed daily
and try to get them used to me
by standing
and waving
and saying
“i love you”
every time they so much as glance at me

and yesterday
i did it!

[but now we have to deal with an un-neutered male cat
with potential fleas…
but at least i have a friend who works with felines like this
and can help with all the
meds
and fostering
and surgeries

10 out of 10 friendship]

October 4, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

meander into my life
and i’ll appreciate you forever/
meander out and i’ll still
talk about you
lovingly
from time to time to time/
force your way in, and i’ll find space
in my heart
for everything you have to say
and everything you represent/
but force your way out
and i’ll never ever ever ever
ever ever forgive you

~~~

the trauma and angst is heavy this morning
and yet it feels brighter
and happier
than mornings have been
lately

~~~

capture the light of life
in poetry
and maybe
life will capture you
and kiss you
and place you back
gently
into the light

September 30, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

windshield wipers
swipe the gentle drizzle
away from my sight
as i try to listen
and hear
and absorb
and accept
this love coming at me from the passenger side
but it’s hard when your own brain gives you ways
to always counter with absurd logic
anything better than
utter self-hatred

but i’m trying
i’m trying
i’m trying