how can there be
so much horror in the world
alongside such beauty?

how can death happen one day
and the next, the miracle of a whole new life?
how can those celebrating a graduation/
a union/
pure friendship
be next door to
domestic violent terror
in one’s own home?

i haven’t figured out yet
how to be a happy person
while also knowing
so much that happens behind
tightly closed doors

in front of
tightly shut eyes

because, from my position here,
it feels counterintuitive —
i’m trapped in feeling like
one thing cannot be acknowledged
if the other isn’t also

but perhaps that’s my own black and white
fault
thinking

because there’s also
often
mundane day happening
alongside mundane day

and it’s the grey that
somehow
sometimes
keeps us going