yesterday i got the shot
yes
that shot
and the other one
and i continued to feel it
feel it
feel it
for so long
i thought discomfort and suffering
had become part of my personality
but as the vaccine reaction faded
and even though i still have a busted rib
and a busted calf for some reason
i’m not nearly as
hopeless
as i was
even earlier
today
fauci ouchie
October 22, 2022
Fauci Ouchie
Rounds One and Two
were
adventures
i didn’t really write
about Booster 1
(would that be Fauci Ouchie Round Three?)
because
i actually felt that one
(just extreme tiredness,
but still)
and
things started opening up
too early
just like i foresaw
and getting the boosters felt
like a civic duty
and the least i could do
and everything
and nothing
and knowing
people weren’t doing it
just felt
like too
much
but now
i’ve Booster-ed twice–
Four Rounds
of Fauci Ouchies–
and i expect to get exhausted
and i expect to feel all the feels
and getting this was a hassle and a half
but there’s no way
i wouldn’t do it
because it isn’t about me
it was never about me
this is about
those folks
who can’t
and those folks
who remain sheltering in place
as people and corporations and governments
alike
decide
any life
is an
“acceptable loss”
and normies decided
that going back to ‘normal’
is better
(and easier)
than what we could be doing–
finding
something
different
and better
for everyone
(as we endure
the global pandemic
that is
STILL
raging)
(and in case you haven’t caught on
from how i put it in the words before
this little parenthetical here,
this poem is about
disabled people,
immunocompromised people,
chronically and currently ill people,
and people who don’t fit our society’s
very limited
standards of
“normal”
who deserve
all the accessibility
that we can ever
give them)
February 1, 2022
Fauci Ouchie
Round 3:
The Booster-ing
a whole walk
to and from
computer systems
being buggy
acknowledgement of
zero side effects the last two times
told to just go
(no sitting around rest required)
but
i probably should have
due to the [unrelated] stomach pains
that showed up that morning
that 15-20 minute walk
was the most precarious
15-20 minutes in my life
but i survived
to tell the tale
and the only effect of the shot itself
(so far)
is the tender soreness
at the injection site
(and the only effect
of the stomach pains
are loss of sleep
and a tragic aversion to coffee
i’ll soon rectify
because
of that loss of sleep)
June 7, 2021
my Fauci Ouchie
(parts one and two)
were (side-effect-ly) uneventful.
my kip’s, however,
were sore arm
and fever-reactive
(part one and part two
respectively)
and i wonder what my immune system
does
is
to make it so strong
(how for every cold/flu/illness
kip gets
i get half of them,
and even then
at half the intensity)
but at least
we are both doing our
due diligence
to not get this terrible,
horrible,
no good,
dirty,
bad
virus
that is still
technically
at loose.
May 20, 2021
vaccinated
activated
impervious to what 2021 can throw at me
(jk, that’s a total lie, please don’t be mean to me, 2021!)
what i’d really like is to feel like i belong somewhere again…
i found it last in the troika
and the magpies
and bst
why
do i even want to fit in
i’ve spent my life wanting to be weird,
to be against the grain
to march to the beat of my own drummer.
and i don’t really want to march to everyone else’s drummer,
far from it,
but there is a bit of a feeling of relief
when one finds that someone else can hear their own beat
that at least one other is dancing just as emphatically
empathetically
our bodies moving in similar rhythms
finding a symmetry in our differences
and i think i miss that in platonic friendships
most of all
because i do still have my spouse
dancing to our drum-beats
blues rhythms
and slinky dips
and our silly dances made up of inside jokes
but i need variety
adventure
something new
but something that connects me to more than just me
(and kip and i are, at this point, just one person, if we’re being totally honest)
but where do i find that connection
that dance
when there’s a global panda express still raging on
and i can’t seem to stop myself from observing when i meet new people
and i’m still afraid of the internet, the place most of us are meeting new people/
connecting with old
in this day and age?
i think i just want an acting gig,
as i spoke about with my scene partner for class,
a recurring role on a sci-fi series,
regular acting roles that exercise my imagination so it’s always in tip top shape
silly makeup
making use of my weird look
weird hair
(the hair that that baby said made me look like a rockstar last night)
and maybe i can connect with characters…
that is the way that i often connect,
that was the confusion my first try at college,
wasn’t it?
was i falling in love with that boy
or was i falling in love with his character
or was my character falling in love with him
or was my character falling in love with his character
and on and on and on
connections lasting as long as
a show
or a class
or a simple scene
but they were still connections
(quick/fast/dirty/just how i like ‘em)
April 9, 2021
so far, not feeling anything
[re: the ill effects of the vaccination,
except for a small soreness in my upper left shoulder meat]
so the things i vowed to do yesterday
in order to prevent them from adding to my plate today
i can actually get done today.
and yet, adding to the pile of things
that i want to do
but have yet to get done,
still
this is a pretty nice feeling:
the concept of being awake
and ready to take on a day
and do the things that need to be done
instead of avoiding them
or fearing them.
[and i know this may not last.
there are many traps i could still fall in to
and so many things on my plate,
things that i *should* do today…
but still
as of right now
everything feels
kind of…
aligned.]
April 8, 2021
Round One
Fauci Ouchie
i wake up coughing, not because i’m sick, but because the air in this house is dry af.
so on the humidifier goes, away it sends my cough, i’m back on track, to get my
Fauci Ouchie
Round One.
i have chores to do today,
as well as assignments from
job
and
class
and any other day i’d divide them up over the whole day,
maybe nap a bit before getting started,
but today
i know there is a
(small but substantial)
possibility that i may be
down for the count
because of my
Fauci Ouchie
Round One
(based entirely on averages
i am likely to not react
at all,
but based on familial anecdotes
that prospect rises
significantly.
i only have one close relative to draw from,
and he reacted very poorly,
so i’m taking that into account;
i see myself as having
basically
a fifty/fifty chance
of having no reaction vs. an incredibly poor one
and i’m trying to plan my day accordingly
around the possible aftereffects
of my
Fauci Ouchie
Round One.)
so there are chores,
things with substantial physical effort
and i’m planning those for the morning
and then
post
Fauci Ouchie
Round One
i have the simpler
less tasking
tasks:
the monologue recording,
the voiceover acting,
the ones that i can do sitting down
in my silly little closet-studio.
but also
i’ve taken the time to
plan for a bit of those pre-
Fauci Ouchie
Round One
just in case i’m so dead to the world
that i just need to sleep.
(hilariously enough
this is why i’m planning on not napping pre-
Fauci Ouchie
Round One
because i would feel silly if i took two naps in one day)
so let’s juts keep the adrenaline up,
the excitement
the prospect
of my getting my
Round One
Fauci Ouchie
out of the way
and go out into the world
(when i can)
and make it be
like
any other
time.
kipventures 