April 28, 2025

i don’t actually know what it means
to be
a great writer
a great poet

i’m just sitting here
at my messy dinner table
early in the morning
writing whatever comes to mind
as a way to encourage myself
to deal with the day
that is coming towards me
at breakneck speed

maybe,
when you’re in your ‘fighting a [seemingly] losing war
against fascism with the best tool you have —
kindness’ era
you’ll understand

~~~

i feel like this kind of morning
and this kind of writing
is the reason i started this challenge to begin with

i feel more awake
more aware
more ready to start my day

though i still need to edit and pick and send in the audition
i feel so much more prepared for it
now

~~~

“you look like such a writer!”
of my big sweater
comfy tee
glasses
bun
and coffee in hand

and i do, don’t i?
i do…

April 15, 2025

the plight of the whistleblower
is to have enough morality
that you step forward,
but to have enough tactical planning
to get yourself in the space to have the evidence
first

i wish
i wish i
wish i could be
that tactical
[or that close to valuable info]

but the moment i feel uncomfortable
morally
i either shout it out to/from the rooftops
or speed away in the opposite direction

[one of many reasons i’m never privy to any sensitive information]

i suppose i’m trying to convey that
i’m proud of anyone who can stay in a situation,
gathering,
without losing themselves

whistleblowers, you have my great respect

now if only your evidence counted for anything
in this clownshow of a government

April 2, 2025

living in this year
when we all feel so hopeless
and helpless
against everything

and feeling like we’re running out of time
on the clock
to escape a fascist dictatorship —
did the jews who escaped
ever feel guilty for not staying
and fighting
the nazis in germany?

what privilege can be leveraged
when everyone is under
someone else’s
boot?

February 26, 2025

counteract imposter syndrome
with delusions of grandeur

battle bouts of depression
with moments of absolute elation

fight against the tyranny of a fascist oligarchy
with anarchical acts of neighborly compassion

if your ‘natural state’ is one strong thing
make sure to balance it with
a little bit of its opposite
[if you can’t make yourself mellow,
at least average it out to
even-keel-ness]

February 2, 2025

deciding
deciding
deciding between
connection and
mental health and
why is it that there’s no
solid line between the two
and they’re interspersed
with fascism in this land
and those who want to fight
also have to use the damn
master’s tools
as it stands
why can’t we
just burn it all
down

and start with something new built on
compassion?

January 31, 2025

everything feels like sci fi these days

whether it’s the prevalence of ai
in our lives
[uninvited]
every day

or the threats of new pandemics
bearing down
on all of us

or the literal implosion
of our country/
explosion of our government
into full blown fascism
[from a simmering pot
of fascism called many other things
that it was
for many
many years]

and i’m just one little enby
trying to figure out how to be the
best person i can be:
helping others,
keeping a kind heart,
standing up to injustices,
learning about my internalized biases,
all while having a constant background soundtrack
of appropriate ambient sounds —
the songs and vibes of our times —
tuned to the bones
beside/inside
my ears

it really does feel
like sci fi
around here