falling in love with new york city

June 26, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

getting choked up
at rallies where we all chant
“we are New Yorkers”
to signify we won’t be beaten down
or give in
to fascism

literally tearing up
while reading the world’s responses
to our mayoral primary
“that’s my mayor”
in Cleveland
in Virginia
in New Zealand
in Europe

those damn tote bags were right —

don’t you dare call me an american
i’ve never had any
pride in my country

but don’t you dare forget
that i’m a New Yorker
and my chosen city
stands up for all our
beliefs

and when we get together on something
don’t you dare forget
what we can all accomplish
as New Yorkers
together

June 7, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

walking the puppy
up and down the sidewalk
that same sidewalk we do every morning
and she always smells different things
keeps up with different dogs in the neighborhood
[“reads the newspaper” if you will]
and i stand by, astounded
that something as beautiful smelling as honeysuckle
can be growing
and scenting
this new york city
neighborhood

[even if they are invasive…]

February 14, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i haven’t really thought of
Valentine’s Day
in so long.

as a child it merely meant i’d probably get candy
that day
in school
(which, i’ll admit, was pretty cool).

as a teen,
highly aware of my own diverging sexuality,
i only saw loud reinforcements of
heteronormativity
and having that binaried bullshit shoved down my throat.

with Kip, the year they wooed me, they sent four presents
on one Valentine’s
(keep in mind we were not even officially dating at that point)
a song
a string of lights
a website
and origami roses.

and yes, we used to go to the melting pot,
or grab oysters,
or have some sort of dinner;
but COVID and coziness
and now our Valentimes look more like any other time.
but i don’t worry
because we still get excited in the morning to say
“Happy Valentine’s Day!!!”
to each other

February 23, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

am i
((will i ever))
getting used to new york?
my new york?
the new york of constant facemasks,
and slightly less people around times square
(not that i’d ever want to go there),
and no real outings
yet;
but still the persistence,
the perseverance,
the resistance to unkind niceness
and unfounded stupidity
(not saying that isn’t around
it’s just,
as a whole,
here we are.)

and the problem with getting used to
a new york
mid-pandemic
is that, as disgusting as this city is,
i really don’t feel comfortable
or safe
anywhere else.

January 24, 2022

/ HJ / Leave a comment

we are now
well into
the third year
of living in new york city
and though i’m not where i thought i’d be,
the whole world isn’t where it thought it’d be
either.

the pandemic has really taken the onus
off my own head
for what i wanted to accomplish
when i got here,
and redirected my aims
not lower
just sideways-er,
from theatre/circus/maybe film
to voiceover/film/maybe circus
(and a little activism in there
because how could you not be
when looking at
this world)
and theatre…?
who knows what will happen
within this third year
(within these next few months/weeks/days)
but i do know that
governmental policies (or lack thereof) really left the public
out in the cold
at the very beginning
of this whole ordeal
and haven’t been able to rectify
that harm
(nor have i seen much in the way of trying)
and i shouldn’t have expected any better
but man
do i want
to trust
that people
will do the right things,
but power seems to corrupt
even the
best of us…

but
i was talking about
living in new york city
and my life here
(or lack thereof)
and all i have to say is,
though i don’t think i ever really got
the ‘true’
living in nyc experience,
i still suspect
i couldn’t live
anywhere
else.

June 15, 2021

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figuring out our foundations;
both of us grew up
just outside of a suburban border
(not quite country)
and staying in green
with bugs
and wildlife
and stars and sky
feels so good

but also,
after a year and a half in The City
(The City that Never Sleeps, The Big Apple, The Greatest City in the World)
we can’t imagine living anywhere else.
we would miss the convenience of walking to get everywhere,
an actually useful public transportation system,
the resilience of all the people,
observing those completely unlike you
(and seeing dozens of people exactly like you,
no matter how unique you think you are)

(how quickly New York steals your heart)

November 7, 2020

/ HJ / Leave a comment

7pm
every weekday
New Yorkers
cheer
through open windows
banging pots and pans
screaming our thanks
outwards
upwards
towards the front line workers
[trying to] control this pandemic
helping people
keeping folks
alive

[it felt like our only way to actively
give thanks
and feel relatively
in control]

November 7, 2020
11:27am
cheers echo in our neighborhood
as my spouse refreshes their page
“yep, the New York Times just called it”

and here we are again
regaining some control
screaming our relief
through open windows
outwards
upwards
towards whatever higher deities
[or Pennsylvanians]
we believe in
giving thanks for knowing
we should have a leader
who can be held accountable.

[now let’s hold him
accountable.]

October 7, 2020 [part 2]

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i seem to be falling in love with this city
its bright lights of harsh daylight
and soft hues of glaring night

i am still an introvert in the world of countless people
but most of them seem to view ‘people’ the same way i do
so we mutually ignore each other

and yet

if protests and marches and keeping up with the roots of the grass
has taught me anything
it’s that we also have an eye out for each other;
we keep us safe
in these streets, our streets
and my love for this city
never would have reached these levels
had it not been for the community i’ve watched
grow.