december is really hitting me like
a ton of bricks
being transformed quickly into feathers
[i still have some bruises, and some pokes,
but all in all it’s the suffocating stuffing that’s
hitting me rather than the pounding of existential pressure, so
at least that’s…
different]
existential
September 25, 2025
what is this
existential nihilism that gossip gives me?
like the minute i’m not
part of the story
and instead invested in the lives of others
my own becomes ghosted
to the point of fading
out from the prime material plane
what use is my spirit
if the flame of my life
heats no one else’s hands?
[these are some silly metaphors
and even sillier phrasing for
a moment today when i experienced
true surprise at my own dealing]
September 14, 2025
not feeling the morning page poetry
this morning
but that doesn’t mean
i won’t do it
i mean
i continue to do this
every
single
morning
whether i’m in the mood or not
just to have something to do
just to have a habit to latch onto
just to have some proof
to say
‘i was here, i had thoughts and feelings and insights, too’
and maybe someone will read them soon
and maybe someone will read them in hundreds of years
and maybe
because they’re all digital
they’ll disappear into the ether
but
maybe the ether will get a kick out of all these poems
and they and the void can talk about me
behind my back
when i’m long long long gone
April 10, 2025
time passing
too swiftly
to get me
pumped
about any one event or even one day
i need now to look forward to
a weekend
a whole month
a big big change in scenery
[but the tiniest/
eensy weensiest/
minutest little things
still bring my whole mood
down
down
down
so what’s that about?]
September 28, 2024
how much of me is my poetry
and how much of me is
not?
September 22, 2024
the disappointment i feel in my own government
in my own daily interaction with the people of this country
or even the world
maybe i should start writing fiction more
just to be able to be around the people i enjoy
and in spaces where i’m not
constantly hounded by the existential depression of
“this could be so much better
but it just
isn’t”
August 31, 2024
keep on writing
keep on finding
what little things are left to find
in this world/state/city/life
and maybe, one day, someone else will want to read what you have to say
August 14, 2024
driving past places
i’ve driven past
hundreds of times
and to see so many
unchanged
still there
on that road
made me feel
almost like i’m unchanged
and i’m still the me
from five years ago
living in madison
living for the now
and the potential
to make it as an actor
in nyc
what was i placed on this planet to be?
April 14, 2023
what
does it all mean
why
does it all happen
and when
will it all come to blows
~~~
a little existential
but also
maybe necessary
(but also also
maybe not?)
~~~
waiting on bagels
almost here
so excited
we haven’t had them
in so so so damn long
(four
whole
days)
they’ve arrived!
November 26, 2022
the mood:
negative
the mood:
dour
the mood:
almost happy
for a little while
the mood:
existential
the mood:
hopeless
the mood:
hopeful
for once
hold on to it
it’s gone
the mood:
emptiness
is there a mood at all?
the mood:
cyclical
i should be used to it by now
the mood:
ever-changing
ever-growing
ever-morphing
into a new mood
a new emotion
a new thing to think and remember and grow
the mood:
i’m not worried
about my mood
(is
this
happiness?)
the mood:
how did i even get here?
to this place?
to this age?
to this mood?
to this hair?
to this me?
the mood:
the mood:
the mood:
[did i discover anything of substance?]
kipventures 