i cannot tell
if the emotional
or intellectual toll
is highest
for these
grand jury days
[but i am solidly
exhausted
at the end of the day
either way]
exhaustion
October 24, 2025
i don’t know what to write
[i don’t know how to write]
my brain has been sucked dry
and all that’s left is
stardew
valley
February 1, 2025
can i sleep
for a week
and regain my ability
to be a person
throughout a day?
September 26, 2024
so much i could be/should be doing
but i’m not doing
i’m not doing
instead i’m exhausted
i’m last-minute-ing
i can’t even tell if i’m
excited
or apprehensive
but i keep going
somehow
somehow
i keep going
March 19, 2024
and now we’re home,
and watching the outside cats
sniff/fight over/eat the food
i set out for them every morning,
and i have cold coffee next to me,
and speakers playing music,
and everything is back to how it should be —
and it almsot feels like this weekend
didn’t even happen
[but this utter exhaustion speaks
for the drive and time awake
and stress and overnights
in not-our-own-bed
and lack of routine
from this past
weekend
i guess it had to have happened]
February 16, 2024
am i in a bad mood?
am i just trying to get down
and dirty
into the business
of morning poetry?
am i tired and sleepy and hungry and fatigued
with the terrorism happening in the middle east/
the horrors and atrocities
committed by our international “allies”
with our “support”/
and the fact that it feels like
no one
in power
is standing up to anyone at all?
[and the brainwashing is such that
some can look at lives lost
and feel nothing
nothing
nothing
at all]
May 3, 2023
when my body lacks
one essential need
it tries so hard to compensate with others
the problem there comes in
when it affects my ability
to try to attain back that initial lack
so perhaps,
body,
you could let me actually sleep
those few more hours that i need,
instead of waking me up with hunger pangs
to try to feed my tired exhaustion
with digestible sustenance
just a thought.
May 2, 2023
how come
the relief
became exhaustion
and not
lack thereof?
April 7, 2023
i often feel as though
something big is out on the horizon
[if only i could find it
or at least take steps to walk towards it]
and when i fall into depression
that big thing is to be feared
fraught over
fought
the ‘impending doom’ flavor of hopelessness
[and with today’s national and international news
who could blame me for
only seeing the
worst]
but recently
i feel i need
recovery
from events and happenings
that have already happened
[and are kind of still happening]
to me
i’m exhausted
and they keep occurring
and the feeling of something coming
is only getting closer
and i don’t know how i can meet it
if i’m still absorbed in dealing with
what just happened…
November 9, 2022
this illness
it lingers
long past
we’re done with it
why won’t it just
leave?
~~~
the tiredness
too
it’s still here
when i’d rather
it not
~~~
how is it that
some of my best work comes
when i’m so tired
i’m losing consciousness
but this
low-grade
continual
sleepy feeling
isn’t enough to make
the magic
happen?
kipventures 