excitement

December 24, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

eves are still for
excitement and
possibilities

no matter how old i grow
or how pessimistic i think i’m becoming
i still have the idea for what could be
just on my vision’s horizon

[i hope i never lose that]

May 16, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

performing

anxiety
anticipation
excitement
fear

hope

acting

for better or worse
it was my first training
it was my most training
it is the time that i feel the most myself
on stage
even with the
anxiety
and fear
there is always still
anticipation
to excitement
to hope

[if you’ll be in nyc
tomorrow, may 17th,
come on out!]

April 10, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

time passing
too swiftly
to get me
pumped
about any one event or even one day

i need now to look forward to
a weekend
a whole month
a big big change in scenery

[but the tiniest/
eensy weensiest/
minutest little things
still bring my whole mood
down
down
down

so what’s that about?]

January 19, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

my focus is
all over the place
wandering from
poetry
to internet-ing
to excitement for performing
to worry about the weather
to anticipation of the possibilities of my own
silly
videos
to apprehension of the upcoming
~event~
of tomorrow…

and i have no conclusion to this poem
for my focus can’t stay on one thing long enough
for such luxuries as
a nice
~ending~

September 26, 2024

/ HJ / Leave a comment

so much i could be/should be doing
but i’m not doing
i’m not doing
instead i’m exhausted
i’m last-minute-ing
i can’t even tell if i’m
excited
or apprehensive
but i keep going
somehow
somehow
i keep going

November 2, 2023

/ HJ / Leave a comment

should be excited
should be nervous
should be chittering and shaking and heart pounding and butterflies lining the walls of my stomach
but instead i’m numb
i’m accepting
i’m tired
i’m surviving

[what depression does]