i wish i could just
relax into knowing
i know something

but instead the anxiety decides
to show up right at that moment
and “release” me from feeling
good about
anything
and instead
i feel
stupid/foolish/in over my head/a fraud

a straight up, full on imposter

how will i ever feel
like i’ve achieved
anything
if this is what my brain chemistry
does to me
every
single
time?