dazed
waking up at 5:45
on purpose
[awake far before that]
when am i going to be able to get
a full night’s sleep
into my body
consistently???
early morning
March 31, 2024
oh no
the sleepiness,
it’s taking over —
it’s not even 7 yet,
and already
i’m ready
for a nap
June 15, 2022
up early
(too early?)
to drive into manhattan
and back
before nine o’clock
(and again at 5pm)
all so our puppy
won’t have any
puppies
herself
January 2, 2022
what is it about
early early morning in New York
that i love so much?
is it the quiet?
i wouldn’t be happy
elsewhere
where it’s
quieter,
but there is something about
expecting the cacophony
and getting the simplicity
the silence of the grandiose,
the liminal space
between the raucousness of nightlife
and the blaring consciousness of daytime
i am always one for the unexpected
i live to break rules
and realities
and that,
i think,
is why i love early early morning
in the city
that says it never sleeps
(but i’ve seen the empty streets.)
October 14, 2021
sometimes you have to eat
and read
before you can write and wake-up
and sometimes you have to just do the things you have to do
before writing that to-do list
and sometimes you need to look at where you’ve been
before going where you’re going
and sometimes you just have to cuddle your cat and dog
before being human.
October 12, 2021
trying to figure out
what i need
each
and every
morning
to feel fully
me
because i had a great time
these last couple of weeks
having coffee with my Kip
up on the deck
chatting
or planning
or meditating
or bird-watching
or dog-playing
’twas fun and new and exciting
(and the meditation certainly helps most of the time)
but my brain and body
have gotten used to
Morning-Pages
Morning-Poems
Morning-Putting-Thoughts-To-Tomes
that, apparently, without them, i feel
just
a little bit
lost…
i mean, clearly, i catch up,
do an afternoon poem,
or after a few days, back-schedule the words i write at the time
but this
pre-8:00-writing
this Morning-Gathering-My-Thoughts,
this is where my true me shines
(or maybe just the me that is the most
Raw)
August 5, 2021
woof
what a
morning
(and nothing actually happened)
(what even is my brain?)
July 31, 2021
thirty days have september,
april,
june,
and november
all the rest have thirty-one
except february which completely fucks us up and every four years gets even a little bit more complicated because time is a mortal construction and probably not as linear as people make it out to be…
i see my friends
open themselves up to the universe
to give and receive and the universe complies
sending platonic connections from years and years past,
sheltering under iridescent wingspans
and holding safe a space for baby queers;
we are the ancestors we wish we’d had
(and we do have those ancestors,
they just may not be blood)
the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb
isn’t it great how the actual saying is saying the opposite of what everyone who says it thinks they are saying?
there are a lot of things like that in this world, aren’t there?
(and do we even need to live our lives by sayings made up by humans long since dead?)
i’m still finding my way
slowly opening myself up to the universe,
trying not to ask it too greedily,
as i’m still scared it’s not real,
i’m too much of an atheist/agnostic to trust in anything outside of myself
(but, one might point out, the universe could simply be a part of ourselves that is unknown,)
and we are far more connected to one another than we think we are,
so maybe those connections are the universe
and each other are the spiritual guides,
but all of these are very ‘what if’
very potential answers
but not definites,
and it is too early for this kind of contemplation to make 100% sense
(and i was definitely up too early to be too comprehensible to others)
so we can just write this
and post it
and throw it out into the universe
and know that our place in it is constantly changing
and at times you need the guidance
and at others you are the guide
and it constantly changes
and change is good
scary
but good.
kipventures 