February 28, 2022

drive is not enough,
desire is not enough,
ambition/hunger/passion-
-not enough,
when you have anxiety
breaking you down at every step,
when you have depression making sure
you know
that visualization
is just a foolish trick,
and that hunger is simply greed
in a different trench coat,
when you have your own brain
waging war
on every want you’ve ever wanted
it’s not enough
to want
to set the goals
to be proactive at all…

manifestation
only manifests
if your whole being is on the same wavelength

so how
do i
connect
my
divisions of self?

January 25, 2022

was that flurry of days
when i felt aimless,
directionless, and gutless
simply the preparation for
the calm that followed?

(the calm after the storm?)

and was the calm that followed
simply the preparation for the
motivation and direction and drive
i’m feeling now?

is everything a predisposition to something
that will, inevitably, follow,
or is there something as real as free will
unencumbered by planets or gods or majority[/loud minority] opinion?

June 16, 2021 (part 2)

when one is not plagued
by friendship degradation mechanics
a special vacation
to see old friends
can nearly immediately
feel abnormally normal
to the point where
you kind of forget
where you are
or how old you are
(or everything else that has happened these last few years
when folks ask how your life has been…)

~~~

driving
still equals freedom
but the freedom
explored
in the united states of america
isn’t really that free
(when was it ever?)

~~~

how are toddlers
both
straight up babies
and tiny real humans
at the same time?