drawing

October 12, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i have artist’s utensils
next to my writing spot
[which is also my eating spot
incidentally] i have a pencil with which
to sketch, a few good erasers, a sketch pad
i’ve actually been using, some colored
pencils to the other side,
and even a bag that i got at the art store
that has art all over it, and yesterday
i even gave advice
about art
[to kip, whom i would call
the artist in this house]
that made a piece of art
better

so maybe
i am learning
some artist skills

maybe
you can teach
an old dog new tricks

maybe maybe maybe
i’m not as set in my ways of
‘i can’t draw at all’ as i thought i was…!

October 7, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

drawing cats
for catober
figuring out a style?
maybe?
[i don’t know, a majority of my cats so far
look exactly the same as they did
when i was 13]
but at least i’m drawing
and even if i don’t draw
11 other months in the year
i have 31 drawings to show for october
as bad as they are…

i’m always encouraging others to make bad art

why can’t i let myself make bad art?
why can’t i let myself?
why can’t i?

October 5, 2026

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tried to write about
some tough stuff

ended up just staring off into space

and playing with the dog

and i did finish it, but i don’t think it had the
spark
of my normal morning poetry
[too much searching for the right term
not enough emotional flow]

so

here i am, trying to write more
trying to find something to get into a flow for

but this morning may be
a morning for normal human needs
food and water and connection and
maybe the creativity
will come at the end of the day

[maybe even in the form of a
colorful catober
finally!]

October 24, 2021

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i’ve been writing and deleting
for a few days now
[and drawing and erasing]
and i know this happens
no matter what;
it is inevitable at some point
to need to re-create
in order to finish a creation

but i’ve been starting and immediately stopping,
each burst of creative energy is met with
“ehhh…maybe not…”
to then need to forge a new path
ahead

and i am unsure if this means i am having trouble following a complete path
or perhaps i’m simply noticing earlier where paths will not lead
or maybe it means i’m putting everything down on paper[screen]
when i initially start
instead of editing myself in my head

whatever the reason
[be it “good” or “bad” or “neutral”]
it doesn’t stop the “now”
from being quite frustrating
every time.

October 23, 2021

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will i ever find my own voice
my pattern of poetry
my own way of writing
a style all my own
in this poem-a-day-venture?

do i even want to?

i want to find my own style
while drawing
because right now my “style” is simply
me not really knowing what i’m doing
and trying things out
and fading limbs when they err too close to the hands
and to the feet…

but i generally know what i’m doing
with writing
(or at least i was formally trained
for a time)
(though that doesn’t necessarily mean
anything
at all)

a style in visual art
to me
would mean
i’ve achieved choices
and a way to be recognized
and a general idea of what i’m doing
(and doing it with purpose)

but a style
in poetry
to me
would mean
pigeon-holing me
into one particular mode of voice
and this cacophony of styles
i suppose
is my choice
(and i guess,
at least right now
i do with a semblance
of purpose)

May 11, 2021

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i like watching kip draw,
the decisions made
so quickly,
the lines deft and
decisions clear.
i often wish i could draw,
but when i practice
i get so frustrated;
every image i see in my head
i don’t have the muscle control to get
onto the page
or screen
or whatever.
while i draw, i feel like that portrait
of Jesus
that was “cleaned”
[botched]
and i’m just trying to do my best
to put some eyes
a nose
and maybe a mouth
back on myself
but i know with my skills
they’ll be
so sad
so i just do it lightly
and hope no one else notices
my black hole of a face
with child-like imprinting
there where real features used to be.