sometimes
i’ll do things
with no one around
that are so dramatic
i feel
i obviously
did them for an audience
but am i
an audience of one
or do i really want to influence
the animals here
that i’m that
ridiculous
?
[either of these could be
the for real
truth]
we have such
dramatic plants
in this house
drooping/
withering/
shriveling up
if we water them less
than twice a week
but add water
and it’s like watching those pill pockets filled
with strange sponge creatures
slowly grow into
full being
[again]
and of course
heaven forbid we
over-water those same plants…
it’s a delicate balance
and one i’m only just starting
to learn
[hence knowing/seeing
how dramatic, really
these plants can be]
those who
decide to
or decide not to
have actually made a decision
those of us who
stay in the middle
are doomed to
stay in the middle
~~~
it’s always interesting
to be clued into
another family’s drama.
i’ve only ever been privy
to a few sets of families
but whenever it happens
i feel like an uninvited audience member
to a preview
where the actors aren’t ready
and break character
more than they stay in
and no matter how much i try to tell myself
they’ve invited me here
i’m a part of the family now
i’ve married in
legally
i’m in
i still can’t help
but feel as though
i’m
intruding.
~~~
now i’m becoming worried
of writing too much
of being too real
too honest
for this little experimental experiment blog
when
when
when
did i switch from feeling too fake
and too impersonal
and wanting to be more honest?
[is it just the subject matter i’m worried about???]
kipventures 