November 19, 2021

observing
the foster dog
trying to figure out
what she’s thinking
what she’s trying to do
with her nose on the blanket
why she growls at the cat
(is it antagonistic
or trying to get some four-legged creature
in this house
to play?)

i hope
she hears
when we say
“good dog!”
i hope
she understands
when we look at her with love
(i hope
it helps
when i point to where i’m going
so as to not startle her
or make her feel like she’s being cornered)

but mostly
i just want such good things
for this dog

November 14, 2021

two dogs
both alike in dignity
one elderly and wise
one young and scared
both curious
both wary
both better outside than inside
both better with other dogs than humans
both here.

and this human, telling this tale, hopes that they will
someday
be less scary to young dog,
that young dog learns to trust
as old dog has
and someday
that beautiful
60% husky
black and white coat
can shed all over their lap
and be the protector
from all things scary
as they are for Louka now.

but for right now,
young dog,
look to Louka for comfort
be an adventure dog outside
watch the crystal rainbows float along the walls inside
listen to the dog calming music
and please
eat this cream cheese off my pinky

September 16, 2021

normally, i don’t mind
the kind of worship-full relationship
we have with our animals,
our pets,
(nos animaux de compagnie),
but when it comes time
to pack and organize and box and move…
i do feel a tiny bit resentful
that half of the beings in this home,
that two of the four of us,
don’t contribute at all
(and, in fact, often make things a million times harder)

September 5, 2021 (part 2)

original plans
were a rush
(similar to the original plans
to arrive)
but i’m being gentler on myself;
i’m allowing myself the option
to be late for things
(so long as notice is given ahead of time)
and to miss things
(again, if i make folks aware)
these are classes
they are for me,
i have paid for them
and can do with them what i choose,
i am not forever barring any potential job
if i am fully communicative
and give advanced notice
and arrive prepared when i do arrive.

because we’ve seen too much
devestation
and death
in our short lifespans
than is probably good for the mental health
so i can’t justify
freaking out
about making every single appointment
when sometimes
you need to drive a little slower in the hurricane rains
or wake up a little later
to get [as close as possible to] that full night’s rest
and have plenty of time to say goodbye
to your fam
and relax
(as much as your anxiety-riddled mind will let you)
so that you can soak up
all the lessons
in the audio-book playing
and dog sleeping
and spouse-chatting
and your own mind wandering
and wondering
and planning
and conceptualizing
and safely driving
to get to your destination
of
back
Home.

August 16, 2021

construction
on the road
right out our window
and the dog is so scared
but so brave
and the cat couldn’t find half a fuck to give
and for me it just reminds me how lucky we are
to be able to afford a garage
inside which we stash our car
and to Kip
it just reminds them
about the last time there was construction
on the road
right out our window
and how they had to carry the dog
a block up and down
in order to get her to our car
in order to get her to the emergency vet
in order for her to act completely fine in front of the vet
and then have her come back again the following day
to be told exactly what Kip expected to be told.

but as for today
i think about tow trucks,
and reversing down roads,
and loud buzzing instead of beeping,
and jackhammers and how the dog will act at lunch when i have to take her out by myself,
and whether or not i’ll be able to/want to nap later today
and when i’ll feel fully rested again
(and how the last time i said that, i feel like i didn’t know what actual, persistent exhaustion was)
and how exhaustion in itself is probably very subjective

and at least we have this playlist
of loud horns
and louder drums
and apparently spotify calls it Nu Funk
but we usually just label it after our favorite bands of the genre
(perhaps the originators of the genre?)
Moon Hooch
and
Too Many Zooz

and i know Too Many Zooz used to perform in subway stations
in NYC
before we lived here
before there was a global pandemic
before
before before
before before before
(is the new labeling of time
going to include BC
Before Covid?
that would make sense
if we did anything to change
the capitalist hellscape
that preceded this global panini
but instead,
we just continued more of the same)

but we are in late-stage capitalism
so maybe we can actualize industrial collapse
and rebuild something kind and caring
from the ashes
of this atrocity
that is the American experiment
that i’d say worked really well for those it was intended for
(white upper/middle class, cis, straight, able-bodied men,
particularly those of monotheistic religious extremes)
and not at all
for literally everyone else.

ah, so this is what it’s like
to contemplate the morning
in Morning Pages Poetry
to follow each thread of thought
until it lets out into a new concept
a new process
a new subject matter to contemplate,
and
i suppose
this *might* be what they mean
when they say
follow the dopamine
?

August 10, 2021

with Louka
all ‘old dog’ ill
we’ve been sleeping on the couch(es) downstairs
to make sure she’s alright
through the night,
and also to be close by
to sense
if she might need
to go outside at 12, 1, 2, 3 in the morning
(which has happens more times than we’d like)
and i feel like our low-key exhaustion,
the whole not actually sleeping through the entire night,
the aches and pains from couch-sleeping,
this whole ordeal
is mimic-ing
infant child-care
not to the point where i believe it 100% is exactly the same,
but to the point where, in the past, i’ve listened to stories
of tired parents
discuss how they’re just always tired,
it’s a fact of life that they never sleep through the night,
and i’ve thought to myself, “i don’t know if i could do that…
i’ve suffered from such insomnia in the past
my sleep is sacred now,
and on the off-chance i’m actually in a bout of semi-good sleep,
to have the cause of an un-restful night be not my own brain,
i’m unsure if i could stop myself from being resentful,
and i know i’m my best when i get 7-8 hours of sleep,
or a night or two of less than four,
but these parents are talking about a near year of 3-5 hour nights
and i just don’t think
i can.”
but this experience,
this mimic-ing,
it’s taught me
that when one is the caretaker
of a being they love without conditions
lack of sleep isn’t really that big of a deal,
and (similar to how i survived high school)
there’s a certain point where exhaustion
just becomes your daily natural state
and you just
kind of
deal.

July 23, 2021

i can’t seem to make my fingers type,
my brain to process,
my mind to wake up,
my body to…do anything but crave coffee.

i passed the 100th day of writing daily poetry
and of course i forgot all about it
in favor of writing a poem that was relatively mundane,
but also full of hope and potential and change
and, ultimately, relatability.

i assumed i’d write about the 100 days
(and subsequent forgotten anniversary)
the following day,
the one hundred and first day,
look back on the full hundred days,
look forward towards two hundred and sixty four more
but Louka needed us
badly
yesterday
so we were with her,
and my only poem was an invocation
a hope
that everything would be okay.

while it’s not perfectly okay now,
it’s not terrible.
still scary
for all of us,
but it’s not a stroke,
it doesn’t seem neurological,
and we’ll continue sleeping on the couch next to her
and carrying her up and down our fourth floor Brooklyn walk-up
for as long as we all need.

because
our dog
is the goodest dog,
she is,
and we would do anything and everything for her,
including buying a house.

July 22, 2021

i wish
i could say
to my dog
‘it’s okay,
i’m here to help you,
i won’t let anything bad happen to you ever again’

i wish
i could say
to my dog
‘it’s okay,
the loud noises on the street
that you can’t see with your cataract eyes
aren’t here to hurt you at all.’

i wish
i could say
to my dog
‘it’s okay,
your legs are just asleep,
if you let me hold you and massage your hips
and give it time
you’ll be back up to acting like a puppy in no time’

but she doesn’t understand
foolish english
so, instead, i use calming tones
(and dog-calming music)
and gently smooth her fur
while murmuring
‘it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay…’
and hope that gets the idea across.

June 23, 2021

another adventure
another setting out
this time for something
not quite as happy
but hopefully fulfilling
and connecting
and kind.

~~~

there are studies
that show
the earlier you deal with death
the better
(or so much worse)
you are at handling any death
as an adult.

i solidly fall into the second category,
my brain short circuiting whenever death is present
whenever someone is grieving
my go-to comfort is
to leave them alone.

but when you’re not a pre-teen
figuring out exactly what you need,
most folks would opt for connection
for a few words of comfort
not alone time.

so
after months of watching back episodes of
“Ask a Mortician”
and
reading her books
and
listening to her podcast
i’ve figured out a better way of dealing with death:

i ask the grieving person
what their favorite memory is of their loved one.
i specify they don’t have to share with me,
(but i’d be happy to hear if they choose),
but to simply think of their favorite memory.

i’ve only had two opportunities to use it so far,
but both felt connective,
kind,
and i felt useful
(all i really want to feel anyway)

so,
anyone grieving,
(or having gone through grief),
what’s your favorite memory of that person?

~~~

our dog
staring at her food
for minutes upon minutes
as if she’s having an existential crisis

(what a way for the universe to show us she belongs with us)