interesting
interesting
i wrote but i didn’t post
yesterday
i wonder what that means
i wonder what that means
and the puppy just freaked out and boof-howled
but she hadn’t done that with Kip not around
i wonder what that means
and the cat has been perching on my lap
far more in the last couple of weeks
than since we lost Louka
i think i might know what that means
and additionally
i feel like
my writing has gotten
so
much
worse
lately
i wonder
what
that
means
golden sun
on a golden dog
in a golden human’s house
(but she may be the silver sliver of a ghost now)
(i wonder if ghosts ever fill
their transparent selves
with the amber hue
of gold)
it’s still so wild to me
that i can miss the puppy stage —
with all the tiny pounces,
and bumbling bounces,
and round face,
soft fur,
clumsy,
smol, smol creature;
and yet
see the videos/
want to cuddle
but prefer our puppy as she is now —
grown in to her scruffy self,
developed such a strong personality,
knowing her toys,
showing her smarts,
happy smiles,
looking to us
(her family)
for support.
puppies are incredibly cute,
but dogs are where
it’s at for me.
we have
such a good dog!
oh
my
goodness!
when she does the things we ask of her —
so good!
when she doesn’t,
but wants to,
but gets a little confused —
very good!
when she is feeling a bit contrary
but clearly wants us
to be proud —
so good!
when she misbehaves
it’s usually because
we didn’t give her
enough attention
or exercise
or know exactly
what was going through her mind
at the time,
and that makes her
still
a good
good
dog!
am i digging
writing
this morning
pressure
from me
to me
keeps playing
at least i have
a coffee nearby
and a bagel
soon to be in my belly
and a dog and a spouse and a cat in this house
all by my side
(emotionally at least)
don’t get caught up in the minutia
the tiny details
the what if these have all been said before
the before of writing
when you haven’t even put pen to paper
or finger to keyboard
when you worry what you have to say
isn’t good enough
or big enough
or beautiful enough
or you aren’t any of these things either
just write
poor injured puppy
(i didn’t even know dogs could get
ACL tears)
(i mean, that’s not technically the diagnosis
but that’s essentially what it is
when compared with
human injuries)
and it’s common
and it’s [most likely] not going to need surgery
(knock on wood)
but
it’s so tough seeing puppies in pain
and it’s so tough when we just had our old dog
do so many procedures and things
and we just want our puppy to be able to
have the zoomies
run around
be a puppy
but
she is stuck
in puppy jail
for her own
good
my poor
sick
dogs
(one our actual puppy
limping, limping for days
no weight on the back right foot
except when she decides she’d rather balance
than feel pain)
(the other my spouse
dog-like and loving-dogs
recovered from covid just to worry themselves
into a migraine
over our sick
sick
puppy)
the puppy
plays with her ball
not a care in the world
meanwhile
the cat
cares deeply
about the food
that has yet to be
hand-delivered
to her
even when i’m sad
or overwhelmed
with the state of the world
this puppy doesn’t know
this puppy just wants to play
this puppy will look at me
with a tilted head
trying so hard to figure out what i’m saying
this puppy will sleep so peacefully
her feet dance and dance and dance
this puppy may not know
what’s happening
in the world
or down the street
or even fully understand
what’s happening in this house
but this puppy is happy
and that happiness
infects me
infects us
every day
and makes the world’s problems seem
a little
less daunting
for a moment
(and that is what i call
self
care)
puppies
playing
in the morning
the joy
it brings
me
gnaw on that rope!
chase that bouncy kong!
harass that hasslecat!
(the world is your dog park)
~~~
commotion:
the morning;
the coffee.
~~~
the promoting
of shows
always
stresses me
the buttz
out
(
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/aerial-arts-nyc-iaw-showcase-tickets-358998302587
if you want to zoom
in
)
