working through what works best
for my distractable brain/
my undiagnosed, but probably ADHD brain/
my MaybeHD brain
finding new discoveries and tricks and impacts and randomness all the time
and it’s slowly feeling like
less and less of a lie when i
introduce myself and my needs as simply
“undiagnosed ADHD”
so much happened yesterday
and i
didn’t even poem about it
[yet]
~~~
{trigger warning: suicidal ideation, mention of eating disorders}
my overanalytic brain
that runs through every possibility
that made a whole “pro & con” list
on which eating disorder
to give myself
is probably the same thing
that has saved me
from actually killing myself
every time i’ve gotten close
in these
ideations
~~~
distracted
and distractable
and not what i wanted
from my day at home
preparing to do things
i should be doing
should have done
days
weeks
months
ago
but am i just going to
nap
again
until it’s time to leave
again?
again?
again?
poetry
is coming
[and going]
this morning
nothing sticking around long enough
to become a full fledged poem
but damn, are my tried and true topics
flinging themselves towards my brain
making me start
multiple
pieces
just to get bored and toss them aside
(or get distracted by other things
and totally lose my stride)
so
poetry
this morning
is coming
and it’s going
and i’m just a vessel
half finished poems
can flow through
[maybe to you]
none of my poems
this morning
have a beginning, middle, and end.
some have one, or two, but none have all three
and i am unsure
what to share
on this morning
of
false starts
and half-thought theses
and distractibility
[by grammar
by emails
by cats
by other concepts entirely]
so maybe…this is the ending i’m looking for?
kipventures 