reading spooky books
for spooky season
that i got in the spookiest way of all
[at least from a capitalist’s perspective]
completely
free
[MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!]
reading spooky books
for spooky season
that i got in the spookiest way of all
[at least from a capitalist’s perspective]
completely
free
[MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!]
the content of our content
matters less than the
clicks it amasses
and i guess i’m just too tired
to care about algorithms and
search engine optimization and
making myself into a brand or whatever
i’ve only been around thirty-some-odd years
but i feel as though i’ve lived a hundred of those
[and yet i only have the total memory of like five,
so interpret all my complaints however you will]
so i’m not going to waste my time with clickbait
and playing a game for an entity i think
could bring good
but is currently
absolutely
not
i’m not against the internet
i’m against how it’s being used and utilized
by the vulture class
[might i not actually be against capitalism, but instead
against how it’s being used and utilized
and structured and exploited
by the vulture class, too?]
[maybe at its basest definition
but capitalism has changed meanings
as it means now — accumulation of wealth for the wealthy
by feeding off consumerist culture
and the only way it stays stable is to
grow
fast
exponentially —
i’m definitely against all that.]
but a tirade against capitalism isn’t how this poem started
[that is how many of my poems end]
i’d love to be assessed for the content of my content
not the number or type or flashiness of the thumbnail
[though, in the end, we’re all left screaming into the void
and the void never ever
calls back]
there are so many things i’d like to be doing
at all hours
of every day
writing
sewing
creating
flying
hanging out with friends
organizing my bookshelf
contemplating the mysteries of the world and the universe
and/or
just cuddling with my spouse and our animals
but i must participate
[albeit lightly]
in capitalism
and this country
[no matter how much i disagree
with so much of it
fundamentally]
and that includes having commutes
where many of my hobbies
cannot come out
and
an end of the day mind-numbing
exhaustion need that can sometimes only
be fed by silly stardew valley video games
and
a constant reminder in my head that
if i can’t make money off of a hobby
it’s not worth investing in
and
i hate that last brainwashing bit most of all
hobbies are hobbies for hobbies’ sake
i could tell you the benefits to heart and mind health
and creativity and the like
but
that gets us farther away from the point
which is that being alive
is about being alive
and sometimes we just gotta vibe
with the aliveness
that we have
and make a little shitty drawing
that makes us smile while we’re doing it
and makes a friend smile when they receive it
that’s what living is all about
[not capitalism
not capitalism
not capitalism]
the overwhelming ache
of knowing strangers’
wants
and needs
and their own aches
and feeling hopeless
and helpless
even while knowing
individuals cannot save everyone —
it is companies and economies
and governmental systems
that keep those in want
wanting,
and keep those in the place of
being able to give
here
and there
stuck
in overwhelm…
fuck capitalism.
where is our revolution
of kindness?
i wish i wish i wish
i could make consumerism
and capitalism
truly passé
just from saying so
in a poem only i will probably see
perhaps it is so
for me
and i can spread it outwards
from my words and experiences
into my daily life and conversations
and someday
i’ll have helped
make it so
capitalism
ruining even the most productive
of mornings
~~~
frustrated
distracted
hungry
but not yet ready
what a morning
~~~
banal tasks
take
less mental energy
but
when a sudden need
for that focus arrives
it’s quite jarring
success
isn’t always fleeting
sometimes it’s delayed
or avoided
or even unknown
sometimes
success
means something different
from the outside than from the in
sometimes
success
shouldn’t be measured
anyway
because accomplishment
and competition
stem from that same capitalism
that’s ruining
everything
i felt so motivated yesterday
(and the day before that)
and i know i did some of the things
on the to-do list,
but i did much less than
i originally
expected
and i need to be ok with that
i need to be ok with that
i need to remind myself that
i need to be ok with that
because otherwise
i’m just capitalism’s
newest victim
and fuck capitalism
~~~
fly
spy
in the sky
i wonder why
you need to fly
around our home and spy
on us
~~~
this
cotton
candy
coffee
is the silliest thing i’ve ever tasted
and it just makes me
smile
smile
smile
~~~
how do i absorb
the lessons i’ve learned
in trying to help others?
i.e. the advice i’ve given,
can i/will i ever
take it myself?
is there ever
a magical wand for
turning kindness inward?
~~~
the poems today
aren’t turning out great,
but they’re not bad, either,
they’re just there
and that’s all they need to be
at this moment
in
time
~~~
do you ever feel
so tired
and yet so hyped up
that you feel like
if you followed your energy
you’d vibrate until
your skin just kind of
shucked itself off of your bones?
…nah, me neither
welcome,
those of you who have decided
against
celebrating the us’s birthday,
glad you’ve arrived!
not to say i’ve been here that long;
i always kind of half-heartedly enjoyed
the fireworks
the cookouts
the bonfires
because
they were fun
but i never felt that loved by this country
(even after ‘marriage equality’ was bestowed upon me);
my last ‘official’ july 4th was
2019.
in 2020 i listened as
people who don’t look like me
confronted july 4th
and taught me what
holding a country accountable
could look like
in 2021 i had a quiet day;
bettering myself in an acting class
run by a
trans
woman
of color
immigrent
who let me let my
witchy poet side
rise
and this year…
this year it’ll be another quiet one.
our plans are simple:
my spouse is creating their own company
with the intention to make life better
for those who have to deal with this
capitalistic hellscape;
and i will be making art for protest–
embroidery,
and writing,
rehearsing for queer shows,
and reading more words by more folks
who don’t look like me/
who weren’t raised in the privileges i was raised/
but we still have so much in common.
and the two of us, my spouse and i,
we won’t spend any money
(except in donation
to those who need
more than we),
we’ll make our own food
and cut our own hair,
mend our own clothes,
and give each other care,
and maybe some seeds will sprout today
(both literally and figuratively)
that will give future us even more reason
to stop giving to this country
until this country gives back
to those it’s taken from.
(it’s a small protest, we know
but maybe, if you can do a little bit, too,
we might be able to dismantle
systems of oppression
bit
by bit
by bit)
so, welcome,
those of you who have decided
against
celebrating this day today,
we’re so glad you’re here.
constitutional protections
to life
liberty
and the pursuit of happiness
are being stripped away to reveal
all we ever had
was the right to make money
for others
~~~
i’m all for corpse rights
but
when a dead person has more
bodily autonomy
than 50% of living citizens
something seems
off
~~~
although
with gun rights the way
they are
we might be dead soon anyway
so…
…yay upcoming rights?