Annee
and Jini
and Lynnette
and Jane
each of you raised me
in your own way
and i still ache for you
every
single
day
Annee
and Jini
and Lynnette
and Jane
each of you raised me
in your own way
and i still ache for you
every
single
day
words are unworthy
of the emotions of tragedy
they cheapen the expanse of feeling
to two-dimensional digestion
for others’ entertainment
but words are all i have
and my brain tends to forget how to feel
in these moments anyway
so while my mind starts in on the journey
of comprehension
before my heart catches up
(which’ll be in a day or two or three
i expect)
i’ll say the only words
that keep coming up
and up again
i hope (and believe) you knew you were so loved
and say hello to Lynnette for all of us, please
and we still believe
in The Power
Of Good
i hope
when i die
the memories can be joyous
and my stuff not just stuff
and that rainbows
are the dress code
for a day
(or two)
the tears
come in waves
like the grey/white/foam
the boat rocking
our grief
and joy
and stress
and discomfort
and we simply wish to be
together.
another adventure
another setting out
this time for something
not quite as happy
but hopefully fulfilling
and connecting
and kind.
~~~
there are studies
that show
the earlier you deal with death
the better
(or so much worse)
you are at handling any death
as an adult.
i solidly fall into the second category,
my brain short circuiting whenever death is present
whenever someone is grieving
my go-to comfort is
to leave them alone.
but when you’re not a pre-teen
figuring out exactly what you need,
most folks would opt for connection
for a few words of comfort
not alone time.
so
after months of watching back episodes of
“Ask a Mortician”
and
reading her books
and
listening to her podcast
i’ve figured out a better way of dealing with death:
i ask the grieving person
what their favorite memory is of their loved one.
i specify they don’t have to share with me,
(but i’d be happy to hear if they choose),
but to simply think of their favorite memory.
i’ve only had two opportunities to use it so far,
but both felt connective,
kind,
and i felt useful
(all i really want to feel anyway)
so,
anyone grieving,
(or having gone through grief),
what’s your favorite memory of that person?
~~~
our dog
staring at her food
for minutes upon minutes
as if she’s having an existential crisis
(what a way for the universe to show us she belongs with us)