January 28, 2024

growing up
in a western suburb of Cleveland, Ohio
with just a father in the house with me,
we would
diligently
watch The Weather Channel every morning —
the local weather on the 8s
with its gentle jazz running under
to give a vibe
of what that day’s weather would provide,
and the clearest memory
to me
is this version of “Stormy Weather”
[i believe it is this exact one i’m listening to
now
of the Red Garland Trio]
whenever the weather outside
was set to be relatively
abysmal/
storm or dreary/
rainy day/
cloudy skies
ready to open up
at any moment —
i can hear the offset rhythm,
the harmonies of the piano keys
of a tune i do know the words to,
and i can still see that wood-paneled room
with beige carpet
and cellar door next to the television we’d stare at
trying to guide our coat choices for that day…
and just the two of us
thinking about only the weather
for a moment or two
before the rest of the stress
would settle in
to our aching bones.

[just a moment
a consistent moment
i can remember]

May 24, 2021

it’s my father’s b-day
the 60th time he’s celebrated
and i cannot be with him
due to this damn virus
(and our government’s inability to smartly control it)
(and our society’s allergy to listening to intelligence)
and i don’t remember how i felt last year…
how did we cope at being stuck inside
unable to visit those we wanted to connect with
unable to say Happy Birth[day] in person
(even though most birthdays were done long-distance
there was something to be said
about having the
option…
i always assumed i’d create a huge celebration for my dad’s 60th
but now, i suppose, i gotta wait till his 61st
(which i’m actually looking forward to,
as he was born in ’61)
but still
i wish i could be there
but it’s ok that i’m not
it’s ok that i’m not
it’s ok that i can’t)