May 16, 2022

here’s the thing:
i’ve been stuck for weeks,
more than a month,
and i cannot tell
if it’s depression rearing its ugly head,
or exhaustion with the state of things in the world,
or a normal human reaction to the sadnesses that have befallen
me/us
as of late

i can’t tell if my disinterest
in my chosen profession
is an actual drifting away,
or a lack of momentum needed
for this particular drive,
or that damn depression once more

and, like i used to beg and plea
for the universe to send me
some sort of sign that
the choices i was making
were ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ for my life,
i wish to all goodness that
i could simply know
which it was

(but here’s the other thing:
i bet it’s a bit
of everything,
and that nothing
is as black and white as i see it,
and there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in my life,
because my choices are mine
and my own to deal with,
so every decision splits a universe apart from mine
but is there one
where i’m
happy?
all/
or at least most/
of the time???)

May 15, 2022

how are we
already
halfway through May?

(i blinked and April was gone)

but nothing will ever compare
to 2020
and the collective pressing of time
lasting forever;
that March that took
approximately eight years
to pass
and past that
i honestly don’t remember
anything
until June
(it was all March, you see)

i joke that
“time is a mortal construction”
because of a show i was in
(i was going to say once,
but technically it was twice)
and 2020 really showed us
how much of our society
really goes in to
how we perceive
the passage
of time
(and the abolishing of dst this year
did nothing to help the case
of time being anything near
concrete)

(i read once
that the only true marker
that we have
for time passing
is entropy,
all the rest of it
is simply our
perceptions,
so…)

~~~

why
do i
constantly fall into the trap
of thinking that
i don’t deserve
a “big
ol’
breakthrough”™
in my depression
if i’m not at
rock
bot-
tom
?

i’ve looked back at times
in my life
in my time
with this struggle
that seem pretty near,
but i recall clear
as day and night
are far apart
that those particular times
felt like i could always go
farther
down

depression
looks different
for different
people

so why can’t i get it through
my tick-ass skull
that rock bottom
would look different
for me
than other people?

i am not in a place
of rock bottom now,
that i can guarantee
to you and to me,
but i do feel plateaued
in a way i’ve felt
for years and years and—
–i also shouldn’t fall into the trap
of thinking that a plateau
deserves breakthroughs
any less
than a drop past the
“point of no return”™

so why
do i
find excuses
in every place
i find myself?

~~~

the puppy
wants so badly
to be friends with the cat

she sits
as calmly as her little puppy muscles can muster
and waits
for a sign of friendship

the cat, on the other hand,
simply hisses
and growls
and hides
and sighs

as the dog takes that all as signs
that the cat is conversing
and she excitedly talks back
in whining yips
and barking excites
‘come play with me!’
she seems to say
‘let’s be friends! please!? pleeeeeease!?!?!’
but the cat
is already
halfway
up the stairs
to hide just out of plain sight
or tuck herself deep under the bed
and the dog still whines
and climbs on the couch
to wait for her to show her face
in another hour or two
and the puppy whines start up again
and the hisses too,
and i hope one day
they do
actually
become friends
but today that seems…

damn near impossible

April 12, 2022

a Kip Day
(a birthday for Kips)
the sadness has been chasing me lately
but today
i feel
at least a little bit
better

is it simply because it is
Kip Day?

who knows

but

the sky outside seems a little bit
brighter
(even with the rainclouds heading in)
and my tasks today seem a little more
doable
(even with the deadline looming overhead)
(perhaps because of the deadline looming overhead)
and my day split
because of needing to leave the house
seems a welcome division
as opposed to a hardship to (try to) overcome

so what to do
with this Kip Day
other than the tasks and travel and cooking and baking that needs to be done?

listen to the birds
listen to your kip
and smile when you feel like smiling
(the rest will follow,
i promise)

April 11, 2022

sensing
something
is off

is it simply
from poems
not written with the sunrise
but instead surrounded by the setting sun?

or is it something far less poetical?

could it simply be
the chemicals in my brain
and my own continuing responses to trauma long since passed
and an inner monologue that rarely has words
but when those words appear
they are insistences that i am the worst
and worth nothing
not even an attempt at self-love?

the problem with my form of depression
is that i so rarely am able to conceptualize
the opposite emotion while drowning in one

so when i’m doing ok
i’m actually, legitimately, doing ok
and it seems bizarrely unthinkable
that i could ever be this sad,
and my actions reflect that;
talking with people,
energy to do the things i want to do
(and i enjoy doing them, too),
telling my therapist about the minor inconveniences to my day
and how i thought through them so well
and how i think i’m finally getting through my depression
intelligently
and healthily

but when the real depression hits
all that happiness seems so cheaply bought
and like i was never really in a body that found
energy
or enjoyed anything
(particularly socialization)
and i can talk myself out of any positive spin
and i can talk myself into any desperation
(but i’m still really good
and appearing fine
for therapists)

and i never really know how to go about
expressing
depression.
i know it’s trailblazing,
world-shifting,
to be honest about it;
i boast ‘mental health matters’
and boost ‘it’s ok to not be ok’
and i want to be the change i wish to see
in the world
but my deepest depression
feels private,
and i honestly don’t know
if i’m ashamed
by a society
that only listens to mental illness
when it’s already passed and gone,
when the recovery looks linear
and one can talk about that overwhelming sadness
as something from the past
(i get it;
it’s far less scary and uncontrollable that way),
or if my depression is actually just
private
feeling
to me
and only me
(or,
a third option
i hadn’t realized
until just now:
if this is what my depression does to me;
it sends me signals that i am the only one
to deal with it
as a way to separate myself
further
from those around me;
my isolation is one of the biggest
baddest
boldest
hardest
symptoms to overcome…
so perhaps it’s not society
or self
(or perhaps it’s not solely those two)
perhaps it’s the depression itself
telling me
to be alone
and lonely
and to perpetuate
the cycle
of never wanting to ask for help
so never asking for help
so furthering on the depression
ad infinitum)

a revelation
a eureka moment
about this desperate sadness
i feel
cyclically
without warning
a drowning…
but maybe this knowledge
is something
that might keep my head above water
one more
day

April 8, 2022

autumn is a time for falling asleep
spring is the awakening

autumn is preparing for the months of winter depression
spring is shedding those sads

autumn is slowing, pondering, thinking, dying
spring is the adrenaline amping up again

so why do i feel so tired and sad and ponderous
while spring is all around me?

~~~

coffee
music
cat on lap
dog on couch
kip across the table
help me enter the day
my way

~~~

i know my headspace isn’t great
if i obsess over things
or
if i shoot from one subject matter
to the next
to the next
with no real resolution
and no thinking through to the end.

so why are my indications
entirely opposing?
is this my black and white thinking coming to some sort of fruition
or is this the source of my non-grey-mind?

April 6, 2022

i am
a very stubborn person
a very strongheaded person
an i-put-my-mind-to-a-task-and-i-do-it person
a person who sets a goal and sticks to it
a person who does things

when i was sixteen years old, without a flexible muscle in my body
i decided i wanted to be flexible
so i stretched every morning
and was, after just a few months
able to do all splits
and waterfall into a back-bend
and i did this with very little knowledge
(which would bite me in the ass later,
but that’s not the point of this poem)
i wanted to be something
so i set my mind
and i did it.

i have other examples
of stubbornness
of setting my mind
but that is the one i call upon first
because it is such a clearcut example
of how i can accomplish
anything
i put my mind to

so why can’t i ever set my mind to loving myself
to forgiving myself
to cutting myself a little bit of slack
to giving myself a little bit of a mental break over things that
i probably had very little control over in the first place?

is it because i don’t actually want to love/forgive/let myself off the hook?

i’d say
probably

(but then that brings up a whole new question
which is
why?

why do i think i don’t deserve love?
why do i think i’m reprehensible if i dare to cut myself the tiniest bit of slack?
why does my feeling of worthiness come directly from how worthless i can
make myself feel?

this doesn’t seem healthy or accurate or growth-inducing

so why do i still do it?)

(i don’t have any answers right now)

April 4, 2022

the pacing
of the pattern
is getting closer…

how did weeks of
inspired writing
followed by
existential creative despair
turn to days
to maybe hours now?

i’m losing concentration
faster than i’m gaining traction
and i just want to be able to stick to a day
and live it all the way through
without naps interrupting
or needing something to drown out my thoughts…

i keep having impulses to do things–
wanting to sew, but on the days i actually have time,
i sit down to a project;
it all feels so overwhelming
and at the same time meaningless.

it’s hard to battle the depression in your head
when it’s both a foreign invader
and your closest, best friend,
[and also, in many many ways,
just yourself.]

this poem is a mess
but so is my head lately

(and in an hour or two,
i bet you anything
i’ll be fine)

March 24, 2022

the dog hasn’t been eating much
and though it might be
old age/
picky taste/
boredom/
sensitive teeths
it could also mean she’s
depressed

(which,
like,
we can barely keep our own depressions
from swallowing us whole,
how can we care for
another being’s mind-demons???)

but
i digress

if Louka is depressed
i’ve decided to do my best
to make her just a little bit
happier

so yesterday
we went on a long, long walk.

i let her lead the way,
and barring standing in the middle of the road,
she was our guide.

through the meandering side-streets
of the north bronx
we were intrigued by smells off of a sports field,
scared off by loud subway sounds,
befriended by a neighbor-acquaintance
(and Louka received many treats
for her good ‘sits’ and ‘high-fives’),
and after we’d walked with them for a bit
we bid adieu
to explore a new street,
a new space,
we’d never been before–

and suddenly
in the midst of a mostly barren
chain-link fenced-in yard
stood a small, plastic bull
at attention
ready to fight

and Louka was ready as well

she sniffed
and stared
and stood her ground
until

a play bow!

a small, playful growl!

a fully formed play bark!

her tail wagged a staggering pace,
her hops and leaps and bounds
unbounded by her
skinny, old-dog frame

as she desperately tried to coax this
non-dog,
non-living,
little plastic bull
to play with her
(a dog who never plays,
not with toys,
or humans,
or even other dogs
unless forced to,
and even then…)

and i watched,
delighted,
damn near crying
because she’s been so sad
so lonely
so tired
so much less energetic
over the last few weeks/months/years

and i saw there a full puppy
happy dog tail
happy dog bounce
happy dog
play

acting like a puppy

(and on National Puppy Day!!!)

so maybe there is hope
and help
for our dog’s depression

and maybe
just maybe
that means the humans’ depressions in this house
might be lessened
just a bit
too.

February 15, 2022

a therapy appointment
a good ‘vamlumtimes’
and a cbd night’s sleep
and i’m feeling ever so slightly better today
than i was yesterday
morning

i’m still a little on
the stuck side
a little on
the slower side
a little on
the i don’t know what to write or if i’ll ever really want to write again
side

but

there is a whole day ahead of me
and instead of seeing it as a negative,
as an entire,
bleeding,
long
ass,
gooddamned
day,
i would like to see it as an opportunity;
not necessarily to get things accomplished
(but that would be nice if that happened)
but to get to do things
i want to do

(don’t know what that might end up being
but i’ll do it
!)

~~~

a therapist once told me
to listen to my body,
to let my desires direct my day

that would be great
if
i knew what my body was trying to say…

~~~

when i tell stories
for the first, second, third times
i am testing out wording,
making sure the way i tell the story
in the future
(the memorized-like-a-monologue version)
is the best one,
the most truthful,
the one that elicits the best response.

but sometimes,
when i tell stories that are more than stories,
explorations of trauma,
a tale of something that impacted me
hugely,
i tell it in such a way that,
in observing myself,
i can tell i’m telling it
in order to understand
how i feel about it.

(because, if nothing else, i sure know how to intellectualize)

February 14, 2022

where do these sads come from?
and where do they go when they leave my head?
because, without them, i swear they never existed at all
but with them…

with them, they are
all i’ve ever known
and all i’ll ever have
and the desolation brings with it such desire
to run
to hide
to thwart off
to give in
(even though the only thing that truly helps
is simply
waiting it out,
feeling it,
but waiting it out)

but worse
i think
than the fullness
of with
or without
are the days when i can feel the sads
simply
laying in wait
they’ve not left
but they aren’t overwhelmingly there
everything just feels too
grey to hope
too
stale to cope
too
desolate to even try
to have a good day.

at least when the sads are at their
full force
it’s something;
it’s a feeling,
an emotion,
a carving out
of this day different from the rest

the in-between times
feel like a never-ending
static
in my mind/heart/life
and numbness
to it all