November 2, 2025

getting up
getting ready
taking the puppy on a walk
sitting down to write
or eat
or prepare for the day

then going about the day
which could be any number of things:

circus
or
a script reading
or
teaching aerial to children
or
grand jury these days
[but only for four more days]
or
[and these are the days i miss]
just chilling at home
kissing the puppy
cuddling with the cat
taking a nap
doing some household chores
taking whatever time i want to take
and
maybe
writing a little more

[when will i get time
to be creative
throughout my days
again?]

November 1, 2025

they say to be a good actor
you have to live some life first

is the same true about writers?

they say “write what you know”
and if you know shelter and
safety and never worrying
and never feeling anything
won’t your writing be…
kinda beige?

but as a writer,
as an actor,
as a poet,
we feel things with the intensity of a human being
thrust into the sun a thousand times over;
we take our [possibly mundane] lives
and crank our imagination up to eleven;
we seek experiences to suck life from
and try to make art from the remnants…

is simply living life too much for an artist,
or is it exactly what the artist needs?

[or am i over-thinking everything]

[and isn’t that what creatives do, too?]

August 30, 2025

i feel at odds
with my own creativity
with my own wants and needs
with my own life as i’m living it
amongst people

everything feels so fallible
so ephemeral
and i suppose it all is
it’s just, there might be some time
before all the skills and abilities
and friends and life
leaves us

so we might as well have fun while we can
[rather than worrying ourselves
into complete stagnancy]

August 15, 2025

do i have writer’s block
or does writer’s block have me
in a chokehold
from which i’ll never be released

do i have writer’s block
or is writer’s block my best frenemy
stalking me
fighting
and making up
and i keep them around for…
…for what?

do i have writer’s block
or is my whole life a lie
based on wanting to write
but never knowing how or when or why
or even if i really should
so i just
rush back
into writer’s block’s arms

do i have writer’s block
or are these excuses
to keep me from writing out
my whole soul?

August 8, 2025

the creativity is bubbling up
boiling and broiling
until a mess ends up over the sides of the pot
roiling down the sides
and onto the stove itself

and the question is:

was the creative endeavor one that would
put the flame that ignited the creative spark
out

or

is it one that is incendiary and will
continue to burn
until it consumes
the whole house?

August 6, 2025

still on the high from the retreat

trying to connect with my own creative vibe
outside of all the wonderful folks
i got to know
over three long/short days

i think [my] lesson of the retreat is:
everyone has such different methods of storytelling
and modes of writing
and even within one person there are
worlds and citizens and characters and genres
and everyone listening is so, so supportive

i think i may be able to bring something
next year

[better start writing/planning
now!]

[and that is the first time that has felt exciting
and daunting
rather than daunting and a laborious struggle]

August 1, 2025

i often forget
that the sounds of the birds
can be my morning page music
and the crickets and wind and rain
can replace my podcasts

i no longer use perpetual sound
to block out my own inner voice

[that sounds like some kind of growth]

but i think i have now found myself using any auditory distractions
as literal distractions
from boredom

and i do wish i was more on board
being bored
for creativity’s sake

June 4, 2025

i have so many ideas
and concepts
and words
and stanzas
running through my head at all times

i am damn near constantly in a state
of needing to get something
out
of my system

but i don’t write when i need to
i save it all up for the morningtimes
and in the morningtimes
when i’m ready to write
i come up with almost
nothing

May 31, 2025

but what to write about
when my brain feels so tired
and exhausted from trying to
be creative all week
and knowing that there’s still a couple of things
left to adjust
and fix and mix in
but it’s ok
for a first
draft

it’s ok
for my first
try

it’s ok
for a first
and maybe even a second

or maybe
maybe
maybe
it’s better than ok
for all of those things

[i need to believe
in my creativity
more]