September 14, 2024

Friday
the Thirteenth of March
Twenty-Twenty
our tickets to Hadestown
blinked into oblivion
as Broadway shut down

and though a two-week shut-down
then turned to four,
and then a month,
and slowly more,
and our money was eventually refunded,
and vaccines were developed and administered,
and boosters,
and we caught the ‘vid,
and got more shots,
and caught it again,
and a few Friday the Thirteenths passed,
it never felt like the right time
to try again — our luck had been so bad
[as with tv shows we find early on and love,
which end up getting only season one
or season two at best, when we all know the arc started
would account for at least five] so kip and i stayed away
from part of the reason we moved here anyway —
seeing only shows when we could get last-minute tickets
from other people:
A Strange Loop
because the original ticket owners caught the pandemic sickness
[remember, just because there’s a vaccine for a rapidly mutating virus
doesn’t mean the pandemic is over,
remember, remember, remember, please];
Cursed Child
because our friend is in it and can give us comp tickets
so we don’t give that terf any any any of our money;
plus a few non-Broadway shows
still bought not at all in advance
because we remain so scared
of getting our hopes up
and having them dashed

but a week before this Friday the Thirteenth
of September this time
in Twenty-Twenty-Four this time
we agreed
to finally see
Hadestown

and while it wasn’t what we expected,
it was still spectacular
[with spectacle being something
integral to the Broadway experience, and done very
very well
and very in-the-story for this tale to tell]
and the talent amazing
and a few songs still stuck in our head

and it does feel like some sort of an end to an era
but maybe, better yet, a beginning
to exploring what other theaters have to offer
without feeling the heavy hand of a made-up curse
behind
us

December 3, 2023

to see the patterns of the world
as clearly as if they were marked with neon marker
on a map of time and the universe
gets pretty lonely when you notice
everyone ignoring
the nuclear colored warnings
the radiating signs
for seemingly insignificant reasons
[or huge ones — like giving power to the powerful
the genocidal
the maniacal.]

i don’t understand
not masking
i don’t understand
not demanding a total ceasefire
i don’t understand
not atoning for past mistakes
now that we know so much
better

will we ever learn past the philosophical
and put our thoughts
to action?

November 15, 2022

first day
back in the world
since coming down with the ‘rona

still got this crazy cough
still a little more exhausted than not
still gonna mask on way more than mask off

but
i got so excited about the prospect yesterday
of testing negative and getting to work and see people today

i suppose i just gotta do it
(and trust that yesterday’s excitement
was the sign i took it to be
that i’m
ready)

November 10, 2022

trying to get back
into the regular swing of things
but not knowing
if the test
will show
positive or negative
and whether i should really
be getting back
into the regular swing of things
or not

November 9, 2022

this illness
it lingers
long past
we’re done with it

why won’t it just
leave?

~~~

the tiredness
too
it’s still here
when i’d rather
it not

~~~

how is it that
some of my best work comes
when i’m so tired
i’m losing consciousness
but this
low-grade
continual
sleepy feeling
isn’t enough to make
the magic
happen?

November 6, 2022

wake up
feel like crap
maybe write
maybe break your fast
with coffee or tea or bagels or nutella toast
go back to sleep

the subtle rise and fall of the last few days
with the in-between of my focus remained
upon a time when i can once again
feel like a fully fleshed-out human being

i feel:
lost
sick
tired
too awake
antsy
like the whole damn struggle bus
bored
hungry
embarrassed
like life is passing me by

such are the times/experiences/words
when the plague
finally hits you and your spouse
and neither of you are very good
or patient
patients

~~~

this isn’t to say
we’ve got it all that bad
from what we’ve seen of the outside world
of the overcrowded hospitals
and makeshift morgues
i’d say we’re this side of great
but that doesn’t negate
our experiences
our feeling of loss and lost
and struggle to be ourselves again
and when
my stress relief is reliant on physical ability
the exhaustion takes over
and i’m just
‘blah’

i suppose i’m trying to encapsulate
a moment
in time
without stepping over
others’
experiences
with so
so
so much worse

~~~

and
today
feels like spring-summer
and i know
i probably
won’t feel up
to feeling it
in all its
glory

[another form of loss]

November 3, 2022

antsy-ness
will be my downfall

pretending i’m not sick
just so i can careen around the room
and exhaust myself
until i devolve into
a phlegm-filled coughing fit

why am i so bad at being sick?

November 2, 2022

i hate

hate

hate

being sick

time stops making sense

daytime naps and nighttime coughing fits

food tastes awful

but my stomach starves for it

the days take so long

but nothing gets done

and liquids

fluids

anything wet

imbibed continually

till my system’s flushed out

and i know

it won’t be over

tomorrow

ugh

October 31, 2022

A Sad Halloween

a wide lime green bowl
atop a crimson stool
laying in fun-sized-candy wait
at the end of an un-swept driveway

no human to greet
no calm dog to meet
no new-to-the-neighborhood welcome
because we are inside
up two flights
hoping to not spread our illness
with this holiday cheer we love

it’s the most wonderful time of year
but not for us
this year
not
for
us

(but hey, at least we can get
some joy out of this
silly-goofy
hyperactive
puppy-dog)
(and our lack of brain-fog)