February 21, 2023

the concept of community scares me

and i know the ancestors of this land
would balk
at that self-assessment

but i bet white supremacy would smile

feeling/being only beholden to oneself
makes for
either
one great bootstraps story
or
one of many that the upper-crust doesn’t have to deal with
other than as
stepping stones

but i was born and raised in this society
that values individuality above all else
and insists that, even within social standing
that place is precarious at best
(imagine entire books/movies/tv episodes
about a whole friend group
turning against you
for no reason other than
they can)
so to be solidly a part of a posse
you should be the one holding
all the power

that isn’t sustainable
that isn’t healthy
that isn’t the way humanity should be

but

i’ve lived it

multiple times

so please, caretakers of turtle island
i feel whispering in my flailing mind
from time to time,
forgive me as i resist the concept of community
and rely on only myself
and my spouse
for literally everything–
i’m only doing what i was taught
for the first 30 or so years of my life
and experienced from others
taught the same way…

my heart is vulnerable
but quite willing
to learn

December 18, 2021

je n’aime pas
le
shouting out into the ether
le
feeling like i’m one amongst a billion strangers

how have i never felt like i ‘found my community’
online?

[how had i never felt like i ‘found my community’
until last month?]

~~~

my brain
seems too be flowing
un-predictably
today.

~~~

early risers
may get the most done
earlier
but they may miss out on
important announcements
from the night owls

(unless…
unless
those night owls
make the announcements
the night before
the thing…)

August 31, 2021

summers
have always been
Magical
for me

as a child
wandering around lands i probably shouldn’t have been wandering around
sneaking past “no trespassing” signs
set against hunters’ blinds
(but no one was ever there when i was there;
November is the time for guns,
June, July, August the time for fairies in human form),
skirting around soy bean farms
before ‘soy’ was even a word in my vocabulary
(‘fuzzy beans,’ i used to call them),
crossing tiny creeks
jumping or wading
watching waterbugs skitter past
breathing in the hot air
staying mostly under trees
to avoid the [inevitable] tomato red sunburn
sometimes with friends
but most of the time with myself
speaking stories out loud
creating both sides of dialogue on the tip of my own one tongue
the endless tales of magic
and friendship
and exploration
my companions
for whole summers.

as an adult, most summers have come and gone
but there have been
two
that have held even more magic:

at twenty-two
i was dumped
one month shy of a five-year anniversary
and my personality had become contingent
on hers
and the April breakup,
the steady flow of May tears
somehow passed into a
June/July/August
of friendship and finding myself
truly feeling my emotions for the first time since i was
seventeen
(perhaps even farther back, because of, you know, the trauma;
perhaps feeling emotions fully for the first time since i was
eleven),
and i felt the good and the
bad
the joy and the
sorrow
the bitterness and the
love.
and i found that friendship didn’t need to stay braced on the one side of
platonic
and i found that i could be myself, silly, joyful, tearful, and loud
and sociable
in a way i’d never felt before
(always having been on the outside,
the observer,
the child alone in the field talking to themselves making up worlds and adventures…)
there was a magic in that summer
i don’t think i could accurately name,
a friendship, a late adolescence, a very slight hedonism, but a care for self and others,
that was my first adult magic summer
(The Summer Of No Egrets)

at twenty-seven
(plus 3)
my spouse and i moved to the city that never sleeps,
and after celebrating my twenty-seventh birthday for the fifth time
we looked forward to getting settled over the winter
and truly getting to know the city in the spring.
and then a global pandemic happened.
time stood damn near still
most people home, waiting
two weeks turned into four, which turned into another month, then another
until we were ‘working from home’ ‘indefinitely.’
and as an actor
one who works gig by gig,
long, spacious times between each production
(zoom replacing stages,
closets full of sweaters replacing in-person sound booths),
i had plenty of time to watch the tides from our living room,
cheer at 7 for those putting their lives on the line to keep the city as healthy as possible,
and one day, after an endless string of Black men (and women, and children, and trans women and trans men and nonbinary folks…) being
killed
murdered
by the hands of those who white america thinks are here for
“protection,”
the nation broke,
the city
erupted.
i was aware as far as national news,
but a contingent marched past our building
and i felt foolish for not having been among them,
so i did my research,
and joined in marches,
across downtown Brooklyn,
where healthcare workers stood outside their workplaces
and cheered for us, on the front lines, trying to make the city
safer
than originally thought possible,
blocking traffic in Manhattan,
listening to folks of color
tell me tales,
speak words that
i knew logically,
but hadn’t thought of
emotionally.
and a full scale revolution erupted.
i watched as those in power were given
full riot gear
as we peacefully chanted to the sky
“i don’t see no riots here.”
taking knees,
holding space,
coming in white
staying in silence,
listening
and listening
and listening
and watching
and observing
and protecting
and seeing how a world could be better
the magic of that summer,
of a whole damn city coming together
to say that Black Lives do matter
and they matter
to us
every day
for an entire summer…
and while i wasn’t able to be out there every day,
i still felt the magic
that there was more than just me,
i was one amongst many;
the full power wasn’t in my face,
but mine as one in a sea of faces
so many you could no longer pick out just one
and everyone was invigorated
and everyone was excited
and everyone was yelling/chanting/singing in their hearts
and i was able to see
what community looks like.
the magic
of what community looks like.

i don’t have a good ending
for this poem.
but i think,
upon some months of reflection
after the initial fingertips to keyboard keys
musings of these magics
one idea stands out a little farther than the others:
it’s the people.

the magic of my childhood summers was based
[primarily]
in isolation,
the feeling of needing a break
from the ever loud and sociable days of school
forced by law to be there
day after day after day after day after day,
and that break was necessary.

but the magic of my adulthood summers
is based absolutely entirely
in community
in coming together
in observing and living
the ideal of what togetherness means

(and maybe my childhood summers weren’t about isolation at all,
but instead creating the community i needed,
that i hand’t found yet
in my mind…)

but please, as we get back to a reality
that is about to endure the difficult (for me) transition
From August to September,
from summer to fall,
remember that people are important
and the magic is in
togetherness,
and find your community in
whatever way and place suits you best,
and donate some money or time
to a Black-led organization
today.

August 28, 2021

who cleans the cleaners
and who helps the helpers
who finds the finders
and who paints the painters

this is why community is important,
because if everyone stays in their place
(hah, take that, grammar!)
is the only one of their kind
then when they need
what they provide
instead of turning to someone who doesn’t know
they can turn in to their own community
and say
“i need what i give”
and they know
the next time
the other person needs it
they will provide.

(Jacks and Jills and Jax[es] of all trades are imperative to a functioning society)

October 7, 2020 [part 2]

i seem to be falling in love with this city
its bright lights of harsh daylight
and soft hues of glaring night

i am still an introvert in the world of countless people
but most of them seem to view ‘people’ the same way i do
so we mutually ignore each other

and yet

if protests and marches and keeping up with the roots of the grass
has taught me anything
it’s that we also have an eye out for each other;
we keep us safe
in these streets, our streets
and my love for this city
never would have reached these levels
had it not been for the community i’ve watched
grow.