January 25, 2026

if you follow the dancing sheet of snow
as it leaps up from its tree branch
and swirls down below
each individual snowflake
becomes part of something
larger
and more whole

and as it settles on the ground
it joins a community there as well
some staying
some picking up and dancing more
elsewhere
and on and on and on it goes
one flake
one wind
many options
infinite paths
but always
somehow
together
with others
when needed

the metaphor for community is there
it needs some refining
some shaping and sculpting
[like most communities do, i’d wager],
but it’s hard to see any independent entity
once you realize
what community truly means
to the survival
of anyone
or anything.

December 31, 2025

one year ago i was so apprehensive
of the impending twenty twenty five

i wept the day of the eve
fearing the worst
not even letting myself hope for the best,
the best i could hope for
was survival

and i did survive this horrid year
[and had some lovely adventures
within it]

but i can’t close out this year without acknowledging
the lives lost
and livelihoods/health/sanity thrown away
due to the ultimate greed of
just a few
just a few
who make decisions
for the many
the many who
they don’t even care about

ceos
and presidents
and random fuckbags who like to set social media sites
on fire
for fun
should not have the choke-hold they do
on our society

and while i can complain
and condemn

i do not want to be like them

so instead i’ll say:
human beings matter
and deserve fair treatment
from the immigrant
to the trans child
to any person with darker skin than the congressional average —
being white
or male
or christian
or rich
or cis
does not make anyone better or more adept to make decisions for the rest;
for human beings contain multitudes
and each human knows what’s best for themselves
but not
for others
and i truly believe
if left to our own devices
and to our own community-based natures
we’d err on the side of righteousness
and kindness
so, even though twenty twenty six
may be filled with the same
cult leaders
and snake oil salesmen
and fearmongers
and dictators,
let us band together
in our local communities
to show each other
we care

[and we have the power
to say no
to white supremacist
racist
transphobic
bigoted
propaganda
disguised as
nationalistic
“history”

we can know
our own
true history
and we can work together
to make the future
so much better
than any of these old
unimaginative
dinosaurs
know what to do with]

[here’s to a wonderful
and kind
and free
2026]

August 6, 2025

still on the high from the retreat

trying to connect with my own creative vibe
outside of all the wonderful folks
i got to know
over three long/short days

i think [my] lesson of the retreat is:
everyone has such different methods of storytelling
and modes of writing
and even within one person there are
worlds and citizens and characters and genres
and everyone listening is so, so supportive

i think i may be able to bring something
next year

[better start writing/planning
now!]

[and that is the first time that has felt exciting
and daunting
rather than daunting and a laborious struggle]

May 13, 2025

nine years
married

a married-a-versary

[in this world we’re living in]

but
queer joy is resistance
and showing resilience
and we can do it
while also
using our privilege to help others
in our
community

May 10, 2025

whenever folks have asked me, lately,
how i’m doing
[as a regular “good morning”/“hello again!” introduction]
i always answer honestly
[because i really can’t not
unless i’m in the midst of going somewhere else
and only have the time for the word “fine”]
i’ve been answering
after a pause
“good? i mean, if i’m not thinking about
the state of the world
and our country
and the eroding rights
that no one in power
seems to be stopping,
yeah, i’m actually, surprisingly, doing well.
but, you know, the minute i think about
anything outside of myself
i fall apart”

and the folks who have asked me
nod in agreement
then sigh and shake their heads in disgust
and we begin a dialogue
about all the terror
located in our nations capital
[and all over]

and while this hostile government takeover/
overt turn into fascism
is actively terrifying and illegal and immoral
it is making it okay
to talk about government abuses
in the day to day,
and be honest
that we shouldn’t actually
be okay,

so i suppose i’ll give it that.

[strangely, does fascism bring us all in
closer to community
because we actively, finally, see
what we all so desperately need?]

February 23, 2025

make me an omelette
and i’ll bake you some chocolate chip cookies
and we can have some tea and coffee
provided by either of us
and talk about the world around us
and how it’s hard to let go of the idea
that one of us could be the one person
to bring peace
but we are not accidental billionaires
with good hearts
or the messiah come back
with the power of god
we’re just two human beings
who want to leave the world
a bit better than we found it
and the only way we can do that
is on a smaller scale
than originally anticipated

so let’s partake in this breakfast
and dessert
and the community we create
and leave our part of the world
and the people we meet and care for
much better than we found them

January 18, 2025

there’s something that i’d love to capture
in words and poetry
that i don’t know if i ever will
because i can’t really explain
even in sense memory
the vibes of the car ride
through protected valley park
and up into the city/suburb
that was my second home/
that i knew was my grandparents’ first home/
that my whole family had worked
or played at
or seen
at least once,
and how it kept that vibe
of excitement
and homecoming
for so long —
long enough that i can remember it
as an early early memory
riding in the backseat/
riding in the passenger’s seat/
driving myself/
knowing where i was going to
was where i belonged
even if i felt just a little out of whack with everyone
it was more like a phase shift
than a whole different universe
[like most of my life]
and i could get lost
in the flow of acting
or dancing
or singing
or hanging with friends
or creating something
or everything
and simply the anticipation
of arriving at a place
that i knew so well
and felt
was mine
that even the drive felt like
home

[and it’s actually very different now,
but last i was there
it still smelled the same]

November 8, 2024

i want to resist
with love
and creativity
and i know the other side
has so much hatred
to fuel their fire
and it will get to me
it will get to me

but i’d rather stay soft
and weepy
than let blind rage lead me
to hurting anyone
inside
or outside
my community

June 27, 2024

mutual aid
mutual companionship
community
and us keeping us safe

i can listen and adopt and absorb these ideals,
but being raised in middle class white america
means my default is to
the individualistic/
pull oneself up by their bootstraps/
bullshit this country forcefeeds us

even when i don’t want to believe

[brainwashing is a powerful thing]