February 12, 2023

a puppy
eating ice cream
and then the whole container

what a treat

~~~

sometimes i worry
that i’m wasting my writing talents
on publishing in a blog

but then i am reminded
of folks who may have thought
i wasted my acting talents
on community theatre

and who is wasting
and who is benefiting
in either of those situations?

is it simply
elitist?
classist?
or simply the whole vibe of white supremacist culture
to give some places
more standing
than others?

i suppose what i’m saying is
tho i wish more folks would read my words
and i saw more accolades and admissions of quality
(moreso for my own validation/vindication/curiosity)
i’ll continue to place it
here
for anyone to come across it
who may want or need it
(including me)

~~~

late night writing
(ok
again
not really that late)
toasty fireplace
cozy tea
coffee ready to be placed in the fridge
for tomorrow morning
when i’ll write all over again

January 30, 2023

when i write
i write at a table
but i don’t use the table
(except to hold my morning coffee)
i slide down in my chair
and lift my legs to the other across
and lay my laptop across my lap
cross one foot over the other
and write until my legs or butt falls asleep
or until my terrible posture hurts my back
or until my arms start to get sore
from low-key holding my laptop on my criss-crossed lap
and somehow this works for me
though i can’t help but imagine
a me
where i sit properly
feet fully reaching the floor
posture great
writing without pain sneaking its way in
and wonder if
i’d write
better
longer
if i sat like
a regular person

~~~

the cat gallops upstairs
chasing invisible ghosts
and singing the song of her kin
and at least she can amuse herself like this
for hours on end
while we break our evening’s fast with coffee and poetry and song
the cat’s harmony never quite fitting with whatever we play
but that’s why we love it (and her) so

~~~

i would like to write a letter to my grandmama some time today
because she constantly writes me lovely greetings
‘how are you’s’ and ‘here’s been my day’
and i love them so much.
and i’ve told her,
but i know the reciprocal is just as loved as the appreciation
and she literally said she wonders how we’re doing
so i suppose that’s what is on my agenda
(other than circus)
today

January 13, 2023

am i digging
writing
this morning

pressure
from me
to me
keeps playing

at least i have
a coffee nearby
and a bagel
soon to be in my belly
and a dog and a spouse and a cat in this house
all by my side
(emotionally at least)

don’t get caught up in the minutia
the tiny details
the what if these have all been said before
the before of writing
when you haven’t even put pen to paper
or finger to keyboard
when you worry what you have to say
isn’t good enough
or big enough
or beautiful enough
or you aren’t any of these things either
just write

September 25, 2022

snickerdoodles
and pumpkin pecan coffee
and spooky tunes
and writing poems
all
for
breakfast

~~~

i know
that it’s not
the same
but seeing our tiny puppy
in pain
reminds me of the stories
parents tell
of seeing their children
hurt
or sick
for the first time
and how frustrating it feels
to be utterly helpless

to not be able to explain to your baby
‘this cough will pass
you just need to rest’
or
‘i can’t magically make you better
even though i give you
every other
necessity
needed
for life’

wanting to do everything
and being able to do nothing
and those eyes asking for the world
which you’d give
in an instant
if you
only
could

~~~

thank you
Louka
for the treats
with the natural pain relief
so this puppy could get excited
about them
instead of concentrating on
her hurt leg
and helping her
sleep
some pain
away

September 22, 2022

i think it’s so funny
when people are funny
about their dog’s gender

the dog
doesn’t care
only you care
only you

~~~

but maybe that’s the source
right?
it doesn’t matter what the misgendered person’s gender is
it doesn’t matter how they feel at all
it’s all about the
person
in power—
the parent
or owner
or law maker

am i right?

~~~

experimentation
with imperfection
with writing
without rewriting
with whimsy
and morning brain
and coffee-less veins
and only a little bit
of contemplation
before composition
before posting
again

August 15, 2022

interesting choice
in Morning Poetry tactics:
the internet-perusal,
the procrastination by other necessary tasks,
the avoidance—
but also the placement/
routine/
you can’t get out of this one
just by watching your animals
interact,
or taking multiple breaks
inside this very poem
to drink half your coffee
and listen to the music,
the poetry will come
whether or not you want it
(but you want it—
otherwise
why
would you have made this challenge
and just kept on
challenging
yourself
month by month
week by week
day by
day
?)

August 13, 2022

to write
or not to write
on this day
of performing
my own poetry
live
for the very first time

that sure is the question

~~~

can coffee
really do for my creativity
what it already does for my
comfort
and
awake-ness
and routine-building?

~~~

Oven Puppy
appears in reflections
all over our walk
and the puppy
(our puppy, Computer the Puppy)
wants to know:
is Oven Puppy nice?
how did Oven Puppy even get into our oven?
why does Oven Puppy always mimic Computer’s movements/
barks/
danger tail-poof?
how did Oven Puppy get inside the college windows at night?
and will Oven Puppy ever come out to play?

——————————————————————

The show is today, virtual, 2pm Eastern, and free
for tickets: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/321018253237

July 22, 2022

i felt so motivated yesterday
(and the day before that)
and i know i did some of the things
on the to-do list,
but i did much less than
i originally
expected

and i need to be ok with that
i need to be ok with that
i need to remind myself that
i need to be ok with that

because otherwise
i’m just capitalism’s
newest victim

and fuck capitalism

~~~

fly
spy
in the sky

i wonder why
you need to fly
around our home and spy
on us

~~~

this
cotton
candy
coffee
is the silliest thing i’ve ever tasted
and it just makes me
smile
smile
smile

~~~

how do i absorb
the lessons i’ve learned
in trying to help others?

i.e. the advice i’ve given,
can i/will i ever
take it myself?

is there ever
a magical wand for
turning kindness inward?

~~~

the poems today
aren’t turning out great,
but they’re not bad, either,
they’re just there
and that’s all they need to be
at this moment
in
time

~~~

do you ever feel
so tired
and yet so hyped up
that you feel like
if you followed your energy
you’d vibrate until
your skin just kind of
shucked itself off of your bones?

…nah, me neither

July 21, 2022

listening to lovely music
(modern classical, in case you’re interested)
chatting with my Kip over coffee
about workers and wages
and contemporary conveniences
and whether ‘nobody wants to work anymore’ rhetoric
came out of union slander
or not

a regular morning in this
household