April 28, 2025

i don’t actually know what it means
to be
a great writer
a great poet

i’m just sitting here
at my messy dinner table
early in the morning
writing whatever comes to mind
as a way to encourage myself
to deal with the day
that is coming towards me
at breakneck speed

maybe,
when you’re in your ‘fighting a [seemingly] losing war
against fascism with the best tool you have —
kindness’ era
you’ll understand

~~~

i feel like this kind of morning
and this kind of writing
is the reason i started this challenge to begin with

i feel more awake
more aware
more ready to start my day

though i still need to edit and pick and send in the audition
i feel so much more prepared for it
now

~~~

“you look like such a writer!”
of my big sweater
comfy tee
glasses
bun
and coffee in hand

and i do, don’t i?
i do…

December 11, 2024

at least there’s coffee

with the perfectionism
that stops my creative endeavors
at the beginnings of their journeys

at least there’s coffee

with my obsessive scrolling
and inability to
stop myself

at least there’s coffee

with the depression hounding me
day in and day out
and day out and day in

at least there’s coffee

when the world is dying
and humanity is giving me very little hope
that we’re anything but terror
on the earth’s surface

at least there’s coffee

at least there’s coffee

August 21, 2024

the first sip of coffee
creates quite the placebo effect in me —
i know my genetics don’t react that much
to caffeine
nor could the actual waking effect
happen while the liquid
is still in my mouth, but damn
simply tasting
and swallowing
this delicious brown bean soup
kicks my awareness
into overdrive
and i actually feel
kinda awake and alive
for the first time
the first moment
in the day

August 2, 2024

that first sip of coffee
when one is extremely tired
is like the first breath of fresh air
after a held breath
is like opening eyes behind glasses
for the first time
is like a warm summer storm
to wash off everything unneeded
[if only the second and third sips
could remain just as
enlightening]

June 21, 2024

how do morning pages feel so much better
with my kip sitting across from me
and a cup of cold coffee in my hand
and a cat perched upon my lap
and a puppy underneath my chair
and everything as it is meant to be?

when did i start liking
consistency?

March 21, 2024

lost
by the wayside
trapped
by the tears i cry
[a prison made of droplets
would be very asethetic
indeed]

at least there’s the smell
of cotton candy coffee
to bring me back to
this
reality

[whether or not that’s what i need
is not to be answered right now…

…probably]

February 24, 2024

sometimes
i
forget that i
am human

and i push and i roll and i run and i expect
to go and go and go
and i get so
confused when i’m tired
or exhausted
or just feel off
and even more strange is when i
take care of basic human needs
and feel
a little bit
better

like

how am i, an inhuman cryptid
a god
an entity expected
to have zero needs
feel less cranky
when i get some food in me
or have a sip of coffee
or actually get eight hours of sleep

how dare my body
betray me by being
[the normal amount of] needy

November 26, 2023

coffee is life
coffee is water
coffee is made of water
but it also dehydrates
but it also invigorates
and incorporates happiness where once there was none
coffee’s bitterness
comforts those accustomed to its sweeter kiss
the kiss of caffeine and morningtime
the kiss of smooth slides down the throat
the kiss of routine and hundreds of years of
awakened
creative
flow