July 8, 2026

writing has always been how i
come to terms with my emotions

even before i wrote poetry every morning
i would analyze things through personal essay

and even before i was intrigued by a writing major
i was writing-creating things
constantly:

scenes
lists of characters
concepts
a single piece of dialogue
just a whole bunch of names i loved

while those might not be the
standard journal-to-figure-out-ones-feelings kind of writings
i think they were my way of figuring things out
in my brain — lists to organize the chaos
constantly thinking in theatre
ideas upon ideas upon ideas

maybe that’s what i should do as a writing challenge;
find one of the concepts i created as a child
and see how far i get in the process of fully committing to it
and creating it
and making it come to life as a fully fleshed-out piece
[whatever kind of writing that may be]
as an adult…

that could be fun…!

April 14, 2025

children
and philosophers
wonder at the wonder of the world

children
and writers
imagine all the what-ifs

children
and actors
inhabit others’ stories

children
and tinkerers
mess around with physical objects
to see what can be done

i don’t think that it is only one kind of person
or profession that
keeps the “play” alive
from childhood

the key is simply to find a way
to keep your own childhood loves
going and going and going
so you never
lose them

March 17, 2022

my sense of self
has never grown
past the age of the trauma

and while i’ve continued to wade through
life
and experiences
past eleven years old,
the photographic evidence proves nothing.
as that isn’t me.
can’t be.

maybe that’s why it felt so good
to change my appearance
so drastically;

the old ‘look’ was simply a shadow
of who i imagined i was,
a poorly made copy
adding weight
and height
and unnecessary curves
and worry in the heart and mind

but maybe this me
recreated like a phoenix from the ashes
of who i thought i’d be
can be the one who finally
stands in front of the small
blonde
little [girl]
in a frilly dress
and skinned knees,
and they can look this
non-binary adult
with rainbow hair
and gender-euphoria pants
and at last say
with confidence
and ownership
and love
“that’s me!”