december is really hitting me like
a ton of bricks
being transformed quickly into feathers
[i still have some bruises, and some pokes,
but all in all it’s the suffocating stuffing that’s
hitting me rather than the pounding of existential pressure, so
at least that’s…
different]
changing of seasons
September 27, 2025
am i,
for the first time in my
entire
entire
life,
looking forward to the
cooler weather
?
September 1, 2025
things i am looking forward to
as the season changes
from summer to fall:
not needing the a/c units blasting all the time
the smell of brewing pumpkin spice coffee wafting through the house
spooky music for morning pages
spooky things everywhere
the smell of fallen leaves being stepped on
the sound of fallen leaves being stepped on
the lessening of all these mosquitos
and feeling like the crisp wind has forced me
AWAKE
after months of lazy hazy summer days turned to nights turned to days
there is an ephemeral liminalness to autumn
that even though it harkens the coming of my most hated season
i still do love its passing by
August 20, 2025
as fall approaches
but isn’t quite here
not yet
not yet
the memories of late summers past
invades my mind
sans consent
[do flashbacks ever ask?]
and no matter how stable
and lovely
and mine
my life is today
i keep seeing
loss
upon loss
upon lost trust
upon that feeling of any control in life
fleeting though it may have been
stolen in an instant
and this current administration
certainly doesn’t help this
weird ptsd i’ve found myself in
everything seems to be
culminating in something
and i continue to avoid all emotions and memories
until absolutely
necessary
August 24, 2024
august slips in
unassuming
hot and lazy
and fading summer away
till the end when it startles us
with our first few colder mornings —
the days still heat up
but the air around us breeds
change
that we should have seen coming
December 27, 2021
i’d like to know
how
people do it:
accept the cycles of the earth
without resistance;
the changing of the seasons,
the darkening of days,
the yearly reminders
of time.
i try,
and i understand
logically
that this is how it goes;
there is no stopping
or halting
or pausing
or slowing
or adjusting
but still…
cycles make me sick.
i’ve never been able to accept them
internally,
so i’m certainly not going to be passive
about them passing
externally…
(i feel like i have a better way of explaining this
somewhere up my sleeve,
but right now
“cycles make me sick”
is the only thing i can register
as really getting across
what i have to say,
so i’ll stop here
and try to remind myself
that even the planet needs rest time,
and while time may not be
linear,
humans’ experiences of it is pretty near,
and maybe the problem is
i was simply built for another planet,
or at least another climate…)
kipventures 