as there are more ways to celebrity
there will be
more celebrities

and, unfortunately, that logically means
more and more celebrity
deaths

these last few have been tougher than usual
[for me at least]

Dolly Parton

Tim Curry

Patrick Stewart

icons of my own childhood/teenhood/growing up/becoming a person i wanted to be
keeping my own authenticity
seeing them, even through celebrity, keep their own
in each their own fashion

but Patrick Stewart’s stings from my point of view as someone
who has utterly and fully shipped his friendship
with Ian McKellan
over the years

how damn happy it made me
seeing the two of them share
what seemed to be
a very true, very real, very honest friendship
with support
and antics
and playfulness
and the joy that a genuine friendship should bring

so my first thought, upon hearing the news, wasn’t
what it meant to me, how i would deal or grieve or remember
or anything like that
the first image in my head wasn’t even Patrick’s face
it was Ian’s
and i got so sad
feeling for a man losing his best friend.

death seems scary
but honestly
it’s always worse on those close and dealing with the loss

[the internet can be a fantastically shitty place sometimes,
but
it’s where we learned of Patrick and Ian’s friendship
and where the overwhelming response has been
feeling for Ian McKellan in this time, so i hope
i hope
i hope the vast human energy being sent
can help
him through]