a dream
of mine
is to coax a cat inside —
any one of our outdoor cats
whom i feed daily
and try to get them used to me
by standing
and waving
and saying
“i love you”
every time they so much as glance at me
and yesterday
i did it!
[but now we have to deal with an un-neutered male cat
with potential fleas…
but at least i have a friend who works with felines like this
and can help with all the
meds
and fostering
and surgeries
10 out of 10 friendship]
too small, our silly costumes
for our cat and our dog
but i think that was all they had for the taco cat [dog]
but the shark, there were definitely other sizes
so i guess
let’s
run back to the pet store and pick up a large
for our comps chomps to chomp at for Halloween
blanket cat
blankets me with all of her
over my lap
dripping down my leg
covering all she can cover
in one tiny cat body
the opposite of loafing
she liquifies and spreads out
and blankets herself
over
me
~~~
blanket cat, also because
the minute you have a blanket on your lap
she cannot resist
the draw
of a comfy place to sit
~~~
poor little puppy ear
did nothing to the dog who was near
but something happened
and the bite landed
and now a little notch is part of our Comps’s visage
poor little puppy ear
poor little puppy
you don’t deserve this pain
or fear
or anything bad
but at least your cute scruffy ear is going to look
so adorable with a tiny notch on the side
[the one piece of solace
we have to hang on to]
sitting kips
perching cats
lazing puppies
lofi beats
typing fingers
purring felines
windy fans
buzzing electricity
and caffeined beverages
someday i’ll be able to stand up again
and do some more morning things
but for now, this cat is keeping me sitting
so i’ll continue writing
for as long as she needs
my lap
the cat, on her perch, on her throne of my lap
leers over the puppy, resting innocently on the ground
unperturbed by the feline creeping closer,
as she jumps to the ground, and the puppy
stays still as a statue, only her nose going,
the cat passes, and the puppy wishes
so hard that they could play
at least for a moment
at least for a day
at least for a lifetime
the puppy prays,
but the cat is only interested
in food and hassles
and annoying all other animals
in this house.
the puppy has no recourse, no resource to break into the cat’s heart
so she waits, calmly, for the next opportunity to start
it all over again.
how do morning pages feel so much better
with my kip sitting across from me
and a cup of cold coffee in my hand
and a cat perched upon my lap
and a puppy underneath my chair
and everything as it is meant to be?
when did i start liking
consistency?
so
here we are
trying to write while the cat
yowls her nausea
upstairs
i just want to tell her
say to her
explain to her
that this will pass
it’s just a flare-up
it will pass
[i also want to tell myself
say to me
explain in such a way that i believe
that
this will pass
it’s just a flare-up
we have the meds we need
it’s not something different
something insidious
something hidden]
[we should schedule that ultrasound]
so many things
happening at once
keeping an eye on the cat
to make sure she doesn’t throw up
having a schedule
in your brain
and making sure it equals
the one written down
and keeping relationships
and keeping pets
fed and happy and healthy
[yes, the friends, too]
and also yourself
i mean, that’s a lot to do
not even getting into
late-stage capitalism
and how everyone needs multiple jobs
to keep the debt collector away
and keeping up to date
on social/political issues
to be an informed voter
how does any human do it these days?
the cat has been getting
braver
and brazener —
coming down the stairs to the level of the dog,
sometimes for curiosity
sometimes for food
sometimes for cuddles
and sometimes just to force the issue
of the dog’s own curiosity about her —
and every time we see
the two interact
we sternly, but patiently, remind the dog
“be respectful.”
so that she knows to let the cat lead the interaction.
[the cat still likes to bait the dog
into playful antics
that just makes her cat-sprint back up the stairs,
but each time they sniff each other/
or look without pounces,
the calm lasts a tiny bit longer
i’m certain
eventually
they’ll be their own category of friends]
our animals
can sometimes be
respectful
of each
other
just sniffs
no snoofs
no chasing
no hissing and batting and growling
every now and then
they have a moment
of potential friendship
kipventures 