July 14, 2021

once again
my frantic creativity
is failing me
this morning page time
and i know i have things i wanted to write about
and i know i have things i needed to write about
and i know i have things i could be writing about

but the sky feels grey, not blue
and the world seems tipped slightly askew
and i can’t conceive of how long this off-ness will last
(nor if it’s truly a case of of perception,
or if it could simply be a time of transition
asleep to awake
un-caffeinated to caffeinated
cat-lap-less to cat-lap-full
[and let me tell you, those claws in my legs sure helped me wake a little more])

so i suppose i’ll keep writing.
hoping things start making more sense,
hoping the coffee soaks its way to my veins,
pet this cat until my fingers find more words to write
(and forgive her when her affectionate head bumps a few letters out of place)

because this is my life;
i made it.
mine.

June 20, 2021

though we all loved the green
and the adventures
and the folks
we saw last week
(Louka especially)
i, for one, feel more myself
with this particular cat
back on my lap
once more.

~~~

motion alarms
sometimes useful
sometimes just a bee
trying to say ‘hi’

~~~

ranked choice voting
is here
(the giant booklet tells us)

early voting ends today
and though we will still be in town
for the actual election
we’ll probably vote early

because who knows what’ll happen on tuesday
but at least we know that
we’re free today

June 14, 2021 (part 2)

made a friend with a cicada
helped it get back on its feet
it became so excited it crawled up my arm
and stared at me while i worked on a digital zine.

made a friend with a cat
(not the cat our host expected to be needy and affectionate)
and she decided my lap was not where the laptop should go,
the lap was where she should be for the rest of the afternoon.

made a friend with another cicada
as it flew full force at my head
and landed on my bright orange hood
and refused to leave until my spouse gently pulled it off

tried to make friends with every lizard who crossed my path
but they clearly had important places to be
so i tried to let them go on their way
(but still i watched them with glaring curiosity)

May 18, 2021

i guess i could…
use my morning pages time
to read and edit and rewrite and post
all the poems that have come thus far ?

maybe?

~~~

quietly track the purring
in rhythm with the caffeine beats
thumping [softly] out of these
shitty laptop speakers

the aesthetics you always thought you’d have
you surpassed with unexpected privilege
leaving you with the existential question

why?

~~~

and unrelatedly
why
does organizing
make me feel so much better?
.
. .
. . .
(i know why;
it’s because my brain is the opposite of organized.)

May 8, 2021

An Ode To The Nicknames We Give Our Animals.

A toast to Louka
The Goodest of Dogs
(The Stinkiest of Dogs)
The Silliest and Smartest
And Goofiest
Our Little Louka
Our LoukaLou
Our Loukaloukaloukalou-kah
Kalouah
Good Dog
Booboosousa
HassleDog
Louka

A toast to this Cat
Mowgli
The Mowgs of us all,
The Actual, OG, HassleAnimal
HassleCat
TrashCat
The Fluffiest
The Shed-iest
The Tubby Tum Tum
Mo-go-go-gali
mmmmmOOOWGLI
Stinkiest
Too Smart For Her Own Good
Mowgli

April 27, 2021

a cat on the lap
is worth
fifteen scratches,
one bite,
four cats on the ground,
two heat packs,
a third of your regularly prescribed dose of your antidepressant,
five bite sized chocolate bars,
and all the fur they deposit on your clothing
(i swear, it’s absolutely worth that.)

April 20, 2021

if you’ve ever held a purring cat
on your lap
without your arms,
simply the cat’s choice
to stay,
to head-butt into your outstretched arm
(which is diligently writing poetry
running
full-force
into the second week of this)
then you know what pure joy feels like;
the purrs calming your anxiety riddled body
the head-butt feeling like
you are the purveyor of all that is good
in this world,
you are the protector
of this cat
(even though, most likely, it is she who is the protector of you.)