just kinda writing
kinda vibing
this morning
hoping i can nap in such a way
that actually rejuvenates me
instead of making me more
sleepy
and hoping my body holds and heals and continues
the way i need it to
for this week/month/semester/year/life
my body feels like it is
about to fall completely
apart
and i simply hope it stays together
for one [or two] more circus lessons
and an evening voiceover class
after all that
it is welcome to
fail
because friday is the day
i have a two hour massage booked
and hopefully
hopefully
hopefully
that can put me back together again
[or at least break my body apart
in such a way
that fitting myself back
goes the right
way]
how do i have
so much energy in my mind
to overthink and overanalyze
and ponder every possible situation
and make guesses at past and present and future
and enough energy in my body
to speedwalk past the average New Yorker
take multiple circus classes a day
stretch and handstand and run after trains
but emotionally
i’ve been out of energy
since i was at least thirteen?
