January 4, 2025

i’m ecstatic
i’m scared
i’m electrified
i’m anxious
i’m invigorated
i’m apprehensive
i’m defensive
i’m meditative
i’m happy?
[maybe?]
i’m existential
i’m whatever
i’m apoplectic
i’m in shock
i’m winding down
i’m revving up
i’m lost
i’m found
i’m starting now
i’ve gone through so much
i want
i want
i need
i yearn
i spin yarn after yarn after yarn
but i never seem to learn
that it’s all part of the human condition —
there isn’t one affliction or emotion
better or worse than the others
when you look at one whole life lived
[and you’re not even near the end
as far as makes sense — why are you always
wrapping up your life in your head
to make the ending
an end
rather than a beginning
of a new era]

[you do you,
but also,
there’s more left of you
than you seem to act like
you
have
left]

April 13, 2021

the beginning of any project
is[can be]overwhelming.

if you have an idea for how the whole is supposed to look
and yet your mind focuses in on the tiniest of details
it can seem
damn near
overwhelming

but perhaps those AA folk are right
and day by day
(or bit by bit)
is truly the most mindful way to approach everything/life.

so is today the first day
of an ‘every day poem’ adventure?
will it last a whole year,
my mind becoming sharper
my words more focused
with each passing day?

or is that the over-thinking doing the talking
the one that sees the minor details as they make up the whole
the brain that gets overwhelmed because of all the ‘what ifs’
and
‘could bes’
and
‘why nots’?

and really, what i could be should be thinking is
i am writing a poem
today
and intend to write another
tomorrow.

and that is all that needs to be said
(or thought)