spooky season
starting out with
the scariest thing of all:
Grand Jury Duty
a year in poetry
October 13, 2025
not only is today
an anniversary
for the kips,
it also marks
four and a half years
of
every
single
day
poetry-writing
[and sharing
here]
October 12, 2025
another night
of waking up at 1/2/3/4 in the morning
to stress
to discomfort
to the panic at the state of the world
and the state of my mind
and this would all be fine
if i could just
fall back
to sleep
like i so recently used to
but apparently i’m back to
high school
college
teenage
early 20’s hj
where i struggle to fall asleep
and i struggle to stay asleep
and every moment i wish i was asleep
i panic about not getting enough sleep
and everything
always feels
so much
worse
in the nighttime
i considered waking kip up
to talk with them
hold them
have them hold me
to see
if having someone right there with me
would be any help at all
and i think, if i had panicked myself any harder
any more
any longer
i might have
but somehow
i finally
fell back
to sleep
how did i survive damn near a decade
like this???
[i was miserable the whole time
that’s how]
[i don’t want to be that miserable
again]
October 11, 2025
National
Coming
Out Day
a thing i did
so long long
long ago, and
still do to this
day
because, to be
in a heteronormative
cis-hierarchical society
means, if you don’t
conform fully, you
must explain yourself
constantly
constantly
constantly
October 10, 2025
dazed
waking up at 5:45
on purpose
[awake far before that]
when am i going to be able to get
a full night’s sleep
into my body
consistently???
October 9, 2025
i tap at the window
to get the attention of the cat
i’ve just fed
and the puppy goes crazy
thinking it’s a stranger
tap tap tapping at our door
and so she barks
and poofs up
and howls
to protect her home
and her kips
and herself
and she’s so brave
October 8, 2025
sometimes
i’ll do things
with no one around
that are so dramatic
i feel
i obviously
did them for an audience
but am i
an audience of one
or do i really want to influence
the animals here
that i’m that
ridiculous
?
[either of these could be
the for real
truth]
October 7, 2025
i hope i never lose my fascination
with other people
my deep-hearted desire
to understand others,
to hear about their lives and endeavors,
even when i don’t understand them —
listening to info-dumps
and rants about favorite hobbies
or points of interest
or simply stories of personal past histories
i adore being invited into strangers’ lives
[even when the stranger is one
i’ve shared a life with — their pasts are still
unknown to me and my life,
and being invited in, no matter how distant
feels so intimate]
i write this from the perspective
of trying to tell my own father
about my life
and what’s important to me
and seeing/hearing/feeling him
get antsy from
not caring
if he can’t
understand
or relate
and it breaks
my heart
i never want to make anyone else feel like this way
i hope everyone feels invited
to share their passions
with me
even
/
especially
if i don’t “get it”
[i adore learning new things,
and connection
above all]
October 6, 2025
the puppy
croodling up next to her brand new toy —
a highland cow
with five squeakers
and a witch hat
and a vibe of playing
i’ve never seen her do
with any
other
toy
is it love?
is it play-acting her hunting instincts?
do we care that much?
no —
we just like to see her
happy
October 5, 2025
i got
a sudden sad
yesterday
appearing out of
[seemingly]
nowhere, bubbling up to my eyes
hot with unexpected tears
all of a sudden
filling
overflowing
dripping down my
sad sad face
as i searched for something
to take the pain even slightly
away
and my kip was there to hold me
[the only thing that ever truly helps]
and jiggle/wiggle me around
to make me laugh some of the tears away
and the puppy was there to nuzzle into my face
and dry up the dripped tears with her fur
and the cat was there
to confuse my sadness away
when she tried to lick the inside of my
recently emptied coffee mug
but later
kip was on the couch
slowly melting to prone
as the weight of the news
read from the phone
crushed them down
gravity invading their bones
until they couldn’t move anymore
and i had used up all my personal stock of
any sort of ‘light at the end of the
fascist
tunnel’ feeling to wipe my eyes
and continue the laundry that needed
to be done,
so i couldn’t be there for my kip
as they had just been there for me
experiencing the same sadness
i had just
felt
this is a horrible timeline
why can’t people
[in power]
just
be
kind?
kipventures 