a year in poetry

March 22, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i’m not getting out what i want to get out
this morning

[but the problem with having
a writing practice
of trying to get things out
in the morning
is that sometimes
you’re only half awake
and half aware
of the things that actually need to be stated/written/gotten
out

so sometimes you just have to write
about the fact that the writing
just isn’t doing it this morning
and hope that makes something come out]

March 21, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

there is a blue lagoon offset from the sea
that calls to me
that calls to my ancestry

but we gave up fins and tails
and gills and frills
long ago
so very long ago

so i dip my two separate legs inside
and lean my bony back beside
and look at the storm clouds racing
and i think about the oceans rising and rising
and whether i can take back a deal made centuries ago

was my great great great great great great great grandmother a fool
or did she know something then
i can’t possibly know
now
[just as now i am so highly aware
of things she’d never even dream of]

but all i can do
until i meet someone who
can exchange this blessing-turned-curse
is sit and lie and dip and swim and wish
beside this blue lagoon
separate but still somehow part of the ocean

[how can i bring myself back to that part of me
or will i always remain so
separately]

March 18, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

there is a super secret cinnabon
somewhere in penn station

and if you’ve only ever explored
moynihan
and the pathway between the subway lines
you’ll never ever ever guess
where it could be

[but if you’ve taken new jersey transit
i bet you’ve already been there
perhaps grabbed some cinnamon rolls to go
some time]

but it felt
oh so
super
secret
to me

March 17, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

there are so many things i’d like to be doing
at all hours
of every day

writing

sewing

creating

flying

hanging out with friends

organizing my bookshelf

contemplating the mysteries of the world and the universe

and/or

just cuddling with my spouse and our animals

but i must participate
[albeit lightly]
in capitalism
and this country
[no matter how much i disagree
with so much of it
fundamentally]

and that includes having commutes
where many of my hobbies
cannot come out
and
an end of the day mind-numbing
exhaustion need that can sometimes only
be fed by silly stardew valley video games
and
a constant reminder in my head that
if i can’t make money off of a hobby
it’s not worth investing in
and
i hate that last brainwashing bit most of all

hobbies are hobbies for hobbies’ sake

i could tell you the benefits to heart and mind health
and creativity and the like
but
that gets us farther away from the point
which is that being alive
is about being alive
and sometimes we just gotta vibe
with the aliveness
that we have
and make a little shitty drawing
that makes us smile while we’re doing it
and makes a friend smile when they receive it

that’s what living is all about

[not capitalism
not capitalism
not capitalism]

March 15, 2026

/ HJ / Leave a comment

hold your breath

count to ten
and count to ten
again

breathing reminds you
you’re still alive
though you’ve spent your whole life
dying
to die

compose yourself
expose your insides
for art
for payment
for friendship
for funzies
for a dare
to anyone out there
who may feel the same way
[though it’s so lonely
in one’s own mind
it’s impossible to imagine
finding company]

wander around
while catatonic to the ground
and know
it’s all in your head

[which is somehow supposed to make it
easier]

[what do they know]