i feel a yearning to yearn
a desire to want
a longing to feel like i want to feel
anything at all
July 28, 2024
spotted lantern flies
cursed our existence
outside
one year ago
this year there are still some
but they seem few
and far-between
and i’m hoping that means
that we as new yorkers
got together and destroyed
[/are still destroying]
an invasive species
that hurts our ecosystem.
as many faults as i can find with nyc
from living here for five years
that is one thing i gotta hand us —
when we have a task
to better our neighborhoods
that we can all get behind — we do it
and we do it
good.
July 27, 2024
re-reading my terrible
obsession books
and loving
every
minute
July 26, 2024
my back
has ached
these last two days
and i woke up this morning
less back-pain-y
and more everying-pain-y
so i suppose that’s
progress?
July 25, 2024
wearing my Grandmama’s jean jacket shirt,
the one that was probably too big for her, too,
with a stain on the pocket that she hid with some cool embroidery —
a design around the initial she went by
[her full name was “Mary Jane” but she went by “Jane”
for as long as any of us can remember]
and because i’ve started going by my initials,
i knew i could easily add a little “H” on one side
and a little “F” on the other of this giant “J”
and it would look intentional, like the rest of the design,
and i could claim this as my own —
and wear it not as a hand-me-down
from the Grandmama where i got my middle name, but as a
continuation of the lineage
of Jane
and J
and the art of embroidery
and family
and everything…
July 24, 2024
this morning’s
morning pages
are especially randomized
and i don’t know if that’s because
there were none yesterday
or if it’s because i’m still half sleepy-state
or if the vibe has been
stale
these last few days/weeks/maybe a month now
but i cannot
cannot
cannot abide by
poetry that doesn’t make me
wonder
at my own psyche.
July 23, 2024
i would like to learn how to be less careful
less risk-averse
more risk-taking
more prone to
having fun
letting loose
and just
go
July 22, 2024
every now and then i get scared
off from sharing this poetry blog because
what if my best poems are behind me
and those i invite to read only see now and upcoming
and never ever see the good stuff?
July 21, 2024
i know why
rip van winkle
is more of a horror story
than anything else
i get it
i do
but
sometimes i daydream of taking a nap
that lasts one hundred years
[give or take]
and that is when i finally
almost
barely
kind of
feel
any sort of
well-rested
vibe
July 20, 2024
why is writing this morning
like pulling teeth?
didn’t i go to bed early enough?
didn’t i get enough sleep?
didn’t i wake up relatively awake
and go on a walk to get the blood rushig up
from my feet
to head and hands and otherwise?
why why why is this such a struggle today?