taking time from poetry
to pat the cat on my lap
or encourage the puppy to play with her ball
or say random sentences to kip about
the randomness in my brain
[what i usually use this poetry outlet to express or explain]
which all makes for great connections
but not necessarily good morning writings
July 17, 2024
i should really turn my computer
off
at some point,
let all the tabs i have up
rest
for an evening
or even overnight
and give the inner workings
of this overworked and overpriced
silver slip of a laptop
a moment of chill time
before turning it on again
and leaving it on
for another few
years
July 16, 2024
the cat, on her perch, on her throne of my lap
leers over the puppy, resting innocently on the ground
unperturbed by the feline creeping closer,
as she jumps to the ground, and the puppy
stays still as a statue, only her nose going,
the cat passes, and the puppy wishes
so hard that they could play
at least for a moment
at least for a day
at least for a lifetime
the puppy prays,
but the cat is only interested
in food and hassles
and annoying all other animals
in this house.
the puppy has no recourse, no resource to break into the cat’s heart
so she waits, calmly, for the next opportunity to start
it all over again.
July 15, 2024
am i
enjoying
my work?
can i
be mad at
capitalism, even whilst i
enjoy my
work?
the questions of the ages of this late stage implosion
July 14, 2024
actually listened to music
on purpose
with focus
yesterday
what does that make me
today?
July 13, 2024
organizing, hoping, working, planning
i’m waffling between excitement and dread
but the dread is the minutiae, the details, the prep
the excitement is the visit, the fun, the experiences
and how much time will i end up spending at Umami?
July 12, 2024
shall i write in silence
or to the music of the a/c unit
as it strains its last legs
against this most recent heat wave
[will these legs last the next heat wave?
the rest of the summer?
into next year?
forever?]
July 11, 2024
i’m always so inspired
to write music
when i experience music
good music
damn
is music
always
always
always going to be
going to continue to be
an important part of my life
July 10, 2024
just write something
so this page doesn’t look so lonely,
so these words can have friends joining them
rather than setting myself up to
drop off random words
alone
July 9, 2024
my heart has been beating
louder
lately,
like it’s trying to remind me that i have anxiety
[as if i ever forgot]
like if it beats harder
it’ll keep away whatever haunts my waking nightmares
[as if that’s ever been true
for anyone
in history]
like my own hand is squeezing every last ounce
of a will to live
to breathe
to be
out of it —
the last reserves
until november
until perhaps genocides themselves die down
but what happens if / when / if
what i hope will be calming
does not come to pass, and instead fate
doubles my heart rate?
will it then cease?
will it then quit?
will it explode like it’s threatened to a million times over
or will it somehow beat louder
harder
faster
faster
faster
faster
faster
faster
kipventures 