writing out what i need to work through,
but jumbles of feelings
and half-formed stanzas of
partially-formed thoughts
aren’t really something i’d want to share with
‘the public’
[or even, really, with myself]
so i guess i’ll write about writing
for the three-hundredth
three-thousandth
three-millionth time
and post that here
and hope
it at least makes some sense
and doesn’t feel too
deja vu-y
January 14, 2025
so
i woke up at 4:45
and played the game of
“what will put me back to sleep”
because my brain was too awake with
anxiety
so i learned some french
and sign language
and cuddled my kip and my puppy
and stared at a crossword puzzle
and the internet
and even tried
just breathing
but
by 5:35
i was still in my too-awake-era
and kip wanted to get up anyway
so we both placed some clothes on our bodies
and i bundled up with the dog on a walk
and fed both animals
and sat down to write
and now it’s just past 6:30 am
and it feels strange to stare at the outside
pitch black
and think about how i’ve been awake already
for almost two hours
but i suppose that’s what happens
when stress brain just won’t
turn
off
January 13, 2025
every time
we see a thirteen
in the date, we have to say:
“gasp! happy manniversary!”
even if it’s not a friday
even if it’s not in may
because every thirteenth
is our favorite day
[even when they don’t go so well,
or we don’t really celebrate
our anniversary
that day]
and we need a little more
joy
in our lives these days
[so here’s to
eight years
and eight months
of marriage!]
January 12, 2025
it’s a
sweatpants day/
a
chill at home
day/
a
get all the chores done
in comfort
kind of
day
and that is a-ok.
January 11, 2025
trying desperately to please
at least two out of the three
of my soul/mind/body
but i think
i need to think
of the systems working together —
sometimes seemingly in opposition,
but they are all 100% part of me —
and if i can align myself
in harmony
and symmetry
with all three,
i think i may have an easier time
within the parts of me
that make me
me
January 10, 2025
crabby
cranky
for no other reason than
dreams
but here i am
feeling real feelings
based on speculative happenings
all made up by my own mind
what a silly thing this
human existence is
January 9, 2025
the fires
spread through my imagination
and burn up my sleeping dreams
to alert me
when i awake
to check on LA friends
and see how they’re doing
this morning
January 8, 2025
Cold
like Wisconsin was all winter
Cold
the opposite of what’s happening in LA, apparently, with their literal
red
hot
fires
Cold
the temperature outside is below freezing
and the “feels like” temperature is in the
single digits
Cold
but we have a house
and food
and warm warm booties
Cold
but this is only one day
in one week
in one month of one winter
and the days are already getting longer
Cold
and tomorrow may be
Cold
as well, but we’ll survive the
Cold
we will
we will.
January 7, 2025
evening posting
evening writing
evening time in bed
cuddling
and creating
and falling asleeping
[it’s nice when the whole family’s here]
January 6, 2025
the problem with my desire to write
both poetry and prose is that
my poems feel more like journal entries
and my stories read more like poems
and when i try to make sure one feels like itself
[or even if i force into line the opposite kind
of writing that most folks find stable and ‘right’]
it all feels forced and off and awkward in the daylight
so, i suppose, i should just always write without expectation or label or genre
or even a plan for any words that come to mind?
i suppose, i should just
write?
kipventures 