December 13, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

the problem with having dreams
about places and people you haven’t seen
in some time, is that they all tend to
mesh
and merge
together, becoming one big amalgamation of
The Past™
or This Point In My Life™
or Anyone And Anything I Haven’t Thought Of In A While™

and though i appreciate
that my brain is constantly churning
even at night
and never lets anything
go,
i do wish the memories were
clearer,
so i could actually contact
whoever my subconscious
is missing
at any given point
and actually reach out to them
and say
hello

December 12, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

i wonder
if i whiled away my morning hours
finding the rhymes
and alliterations with time,
if i’d feel more
connected/
more a part of/
more in line
with my silly morning poems —

if i seriously sat still
thinking of the perfect line
the perfect rhyme
the perfect kind of poem to
express
and impress
and decompress
and perhaps then
i’d force my poems on others

[but, as it stands now, i can only make that happen
for like half to two thirds of a full poem,
and then i let go the pretense, and get back to the words
that just make sense
with my morning brain]

December 10, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

tenth day
in the twelfth month
named after the number ten

do we merry-go-round each other
until our paradoxes
and anachronisms
make sense

or is life simply accepting
that parts of life simply
never make simple
sense

December 9, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

oh no
this green tea in the morning
is real nice

i don’t know if it’s
the warmth
as the outside is
so damn cold

or if it’s
simply having tea
which i know may help
decrease this
inflammation

or if it’s
doing something
different
with my morning

or a factor i haven’t found yet
but this tea is
real nice
right now

December 8, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

kip playing with music
a whole set up here at our
kitchen table

and something in me wants to create

is it music?
am i ready to hear my own voice
echoing back from me
via vocoder at least?

or am i more in the physical scheme
and want to cut and trim and sew and see
what kind of creation i can make with
my own two hands

or am i finally ready to write that book
i’ve been threatening to write
forever and a half

or is it the video series
or a play
or silly skits
on social media
[probably not that last one
if my mental health is any key
or indication, having done so well
these past few months
without
that curse looming over me
via my phone…]

[who knows]
[who knows]

December 7, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

december is really hitting me like
a ton of bricks
being transformed quickly into feathers
[i still have some bruises, and some pokes,
but all in all it’s the suffocating stuffing that’s
hitting me rather than the pounding of existential pressure, so
at least that’s…
different]

December 6, 2025

/ HJ / Leave a comment

how does one make a monstera thrive?

do you actually need to trim
the biggest leaves?

or is it a bigger pot that i need
to hold in all these trailing vine-roots
as they escape their confines
and go searching for something to climb?

or is it simply the air around us
better humidified would do it?
or maybe a spritz of water once
or twice
a day?

i mean, my monsteras are all fine
they’re doing
fine

but i really
desperately
want them to
thrive